Tag: the adult sex-ed salon

“What Porn Leaves Out,” Reminder-Tuesday-April 18-The Erotic Literary Salon/Adult Sex-Ed Salon

Dr. Marty Klein’s view on porn. The famous sex therapist who offers a fresh and often enlightening perspective on all things sexual.

What Porn Leaves Out

Many people complain about what porn shows viewers. While some of these complaints are accurate (guys instantly erect; women enjoying cum on their faces), they’re often inaccurate (most porn does NOT portray violence; porn DOES offer a wide range of men’s and women’s bodies).

What rarely gets discussed is what porn leaves out.

Today’s internet porn is primarily a visual medium (as compared with, say, the ancient Greek poems of Sappho or the 18th-century novels of the Marquis de Sade). That means it leaves out anything that isn’t visually compelling. And as it happens, a lot of what makes sex satisfying in real life is boring to watch on film.

This isn’t a criticism. Internet porn doesn’t pretend to show real life, only a fictionalized version of it—like the worlds of Sherlock Holmes or Seinfeld’s gang.

And one way porn portrays its fictionalized world is by omitting exactly what makes real sex what it is. So what does porn NOT include?

* Kissing and hugging
The penis and vulva may be the center of attention during sex, but it’s kissing and hugging that get us to sex, that keep us connected during sex, and that transition us from sex back down to earth. Passionate kissing can be very exciting and intimate, while skin-to-skin contact is one of the most common reasons people have sex in the first place.

* Talking and laughing
Assuming that people can agree on a common vocabulary (Penis? Dick? Conan the Barbarian?), talking during sex provides information, reassurance, self-expression, and a sense of the others’ presence. People who can’t ask questions during sex limit the pleasure, variety, and meaningfulness of their experience.
Laughing? Sex is way too important to be treated grimly. If you’ve ever watched a dog watch you having sex, you know just how ridiculous we look. And when things don’t go as planned, laughing together is sometimes the only reasonable response—and the thing that gives us permission to resume sex.

* Handling the unexpected; going slowly; afterwards
Sex is too complex for everything to go smoothly every time. Products and toys may be hard to open or use. Leg cramps or sore backs may intrude without warning. Bodies may provide unwanted and poorly-timed smells or fluids. Porn shows none of these—because none of these are sexy on film. In real life? People cooperating to get beyond these minor obstacles can be sexy indeed.
Sex in real life ebbs and flows, whereas in porn if scenes languish, they lose viewers. Going slowly can bond lovers, can increase arousal, and can equalize desire. On film, that’s boring. And after sex? That’s usually the slowest time of all. It may involve satisfied looks and hand-holding—hardly what a masturbating audience craves.

* Birth control
Intercourse without using birth control? Without discussing birth control? It happens way too often in the real world. It happens almost 100% of the time in porn. Most heterosexual porn consumers think condoms are un-sexy, and discussing pills, diaphragms, IUDs, and implants—well, if talking sexy isn’t sexy enough to include in a porn film, talking about birth control surely isn’t.

* Off-screen preparation
This is the biggest category of all. Before the cameras roll, professionals prepare. If a scene will involve anal sex, preparation may include an enema. Vaginas and rectums are often packed with lubricant. The guys may use an erection drug.
Actors and actresses will discuss what they’re about to portray, especially if the sex is fast-paced or complicated. How far back can you bend your legs without discomfort? Do you prefer your nipples pulled, squeezed, or twisted? Do you want your scrotum involved or left alone? And by the way, are you left-handed or right-handed?
Unlike consumers who want novelty in their sex, professionals want predictability. And remember, any depictions of rough sex are totally consensual. No actress is ambushed on set and suddenly spanked, whipped, or forced to gag on a penis—it’s all worked out ahead of time. It may look uncomfortable, even shocking, but it’s…acting!

* * *
To increase Porn Literacy in both adults and young people, we have to talk about the constructed, edited nature of what they watch. Porn isn’t a peek inside someone’s bedroom—it’s a visual representation of someone’s imagination. A cross between culture, psychology, and art, that imagination produces products for consumers—appealing to what it believes we want, and leaving out the rest. To understand it, it helps to know what’s missing.

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http://www.martyklein.com

Reminder-Tuesday-February 21-The Erotic Literary Salon-Live/Adult Sex-Ed Salon-Lonely Hearts Club

Monica Day will be the evening’s featured reader. She is the host and leader of The 300% Life: An Unusual Unconference, and it’s a dynamic, multi-sensory experience that wakes you up to your biggest life, and shows you how to live it fully, creatively, and powerfully. March 9-12 in Philadelphia. Monica is offering a special discount to the Erotic Literary Salon Community. Use code SALON300 to claim discount. http://monicaday.com/events/

Museum of Art tourism destinations

Philadelphia Museum of Art – Lonely Hearts Club:

Friday, February 24, 2017
5:00 p.m. – 8:45 p.m.

Love is a battlefield. Music, art, and theater help soothe your soul.

Art Making: Love Notes  
5:30-7:30 p.m.
Book artist Colette Fu shows you how to create your own pop-up cards. Make some love—or anti-love—themed cards to give your friends, partner, an ex, or yourself. She’ll have patterns available for all ages and levels, just come with an open heart.Silent Disco with Silent Philly 
5:30-8:00 p.m.
Silent Philly is in the house-grab some headphones and fill the galleries with song and dance.Detour: Timaree Schmit  
5:45 p.m. & 6:30 p.m.
Sexologist Timaree Schmit believes that rational, empirically based sex-ed is the basis for social justice. View three selected works of Duchamp through the lens of sex positive feminism and sexology.
The Museum offers free, daily guided tours on a number of topics. Pick up a Today handout for more information.Musical Act: Eliza Hardy Jones  
5:45 p.m. & 7:15 p.m.
Hardy is a classically trained pianist who’s recently made the leap to the electric landscape. This Philadelphia native has played with Buried Beds, Nightlands, Strand of Oaks, and Grace Potter, and has just debuted her solo album, Because Become. Tonight she plays two sets: the first one as an acoustic solo and the second one with her full band.In-Gallery performance: Revolution Shakespeare presents “Love Hurts”
6:15 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.
What’s the only thing worse than not being in love? Being in love. Many of Shakespeare’s characters grapple with the thorniest emotion of them all and lead us to ask the eternal question: Is having a date on Saturday night really worth all the drama?

Reminder-Tuesday Jan 17-The Erotic Literary Salon-Live, Between The Sheets-Writing & Selling Erotica w/Rachel Kramer Bussel

Come prepared to ask your anonymous sex and sexuality questions. Adult Sex-Ed is all about the attendees’ and sexologist Susana Mayer answering your questions.

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Between The Sheets a writing and selling erotica class with the famous editor and writer Rachel Kramer Bussel. Class begins February 7, online.

Rachel has read her erotica at the Erotic Literary Salon several years ago. She is definitely a person who teaches what she practices and has a most successful erotica writing and editing career.

Class Description

Let’s talk about sex.

Specifically, writing about it.

First, it ain’t easy to write. Sex itself can be awkward enough, but describing it? Without sounding like a goofball? That can be tough.

Second, there’s this whole big genre totally devoted to sex called erotica, which has turned into a dirty word among writers—especially those who think Fifty Shades of Grey is all it has to offer.

But you can write sex with a deft hand, with skill and grace, in a way that reveals character and emotion. And you’ll learn to do that in Between the Sheets with Rachel Kramer Bussel.

Rachel has been writing erotica for over 15 years, and has edited over 50 anthologies, including Hungry for More, The Big Book of Orgasms, Fast Girls, and Cheeky Spanking Stories, and is Best Bondage Erotica series editor. Her short stories have been published in over 100 anthologies, including the Best American Erotica, Best Women’s Erotica, Best Gay Erotica and Best Lesbian Erotica series. For five years she ran the In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series, and has conducted readings and taught erotic writing workshops across the country.

As part of the class, you’ll receive a bibliography and market listing, and you’ll be pointed to current markets that are looking for new writing.

What This Class Covers

Week One: Erotica is Everywhere

We will define erotica and its purpose, including examples from literary fiction and erotic novels, including varying types of language and the mechanics of writing about sex, including research (no, you absolutely don’t have to have done the things you’re writing about). We’ll discuss language, voice, pace, and how to find the erotic potential in everyday situations, as well as how to overcome internal hurdles to writing erotica and answer your friends’ and families’ nosy questions.

Assignment: Students will be asked to write a prompt-driven erotic scene with particular attention to fresh imagery and avoidance of cliche.

Week Two: From Humor to Heartache: Setting the Mood

Erotica is not necessarily about shiny happy people having the best orgasms of their lives on every page (though you will find plenty of happy people enjoying their sexuality). Erotica may or may not have a traditional happy ending (pun intended). We’ll examine why humor and heartache work in erotica and how they can be used to your best advantage to add to the tension and draw of a story.

Assignment: Students will respond to story prompts incorporating humor and heartache respectively using the same set of characters.

Week Three: Motivation

Why is erotica about more than just a sex scene? How can you enhance the sex scenes in your stories by adding conflict, backstory and motivation? How does writing about characters fundamentally different from you push you to explore the genre, and what does it teach you about sexuality? We’ll explore different motivations within erotica and how they fuel the story.

Assignment: Students will explore point of view and voice in erotica by telling the same story from multiple viewpoints, and examining which voice speaks the most strongly.

Week Four: The Business of Erotica and Submitting Your Work

What are editors looking for in today’s erotica marketplace, and how can you stand out? Should you use a pseudonym? How can you extend your work beyond a single story? How much money can you expect to make from writing erotica?

Assignment: Complete a short story and submit it to a current market.

Goals Of This Class

  • Learn what erotica is (and isn’t)—and about the marketplace for erotica and erotic fiction
  • Write from various points of view, sexualities, and character types
  • Incorporate elements of pop culture, news, and everyday life into your erotica
  • Craft a complete erotic short story and submit it

 

Press Release-January 17-The Erotic Literary Salon-The Adult Sex-Ed Salon

Philadelphia’s Erotic Literary Salon-Live and the Adult Sex-Ed Salon, along with Attendee Readers, Share an Evening of Edutainment, Tuesday, Jan 17.

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Tuesday, January 3, 2016

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

 

PCSalons@gmail.com – contact: Susana Mayer, Ph.D., Salonnière,

PCSalons@gmail.comreserve a time slot to read at Salon (5 min max)

www.theEroticliterarysalon.com – guidelines for reading.

www.theEroticliterarysalon.com – blog: events, Salon notices, erotica, and guidelines.

 

The Erotic Literary Salon will be held Tuesday, January 17. The evening will start with the Adult Sex-Ed Salon a one-hour program devoted to sex and sexuality. The audience will create this month’s theme. They will have the opportunity to pose any questions regarding sex and sexuality anonymously. Sexologist Susana Mayer, PhD, along with co-host Walter will facilitate the Adult Sex-Ed Salon and attendees interested in sharing their knowledge and experiences will join in the discussion.

 

PHILADELPHIA: The Erotic Literary Salon, unique in the English-speaking world has launched a growing movement mainstreaming erotica. Salons attract a supportive audience of 65 or more individuals. Approximately 15 attendees participate as writers, readers, storytellers, spoken word performers of original works/words of others, the rest just come to listen, enjoy and applaud.

 

Salons gather the 3rd Tuesday of every month at TIME (The Bohemian Absinthe Lounge), 1315 Sansom Street, Center City, Philadelphia. Doors open at 6:30 p.m., for cocktails, food and conversation. Adult Sex-Ed between 7:00-8:00, readings begin at 8:30. Admission is $12, discounted for students and seniors to $10. Salon attendees must be 21.

 

Creator of this event, Dr. Susana, is Philadelphia’s best-known sexologist. She lends her voice to the Salon by offering relevant information to support the discussions that arise in the Salon and blog.

…surprisingly comfortable….Salon devotees praise her for the space she has created….”

“I think Susana is doing a very brave thing.”

Philadelphia Inquirer, February 10, 2010

 

“There are laughter and tears along with the hot rush of blood – to the face.

Daily News, March 15, 2010

 

“I never knew such a life of honesty could exist. I finally found a home I can be comfortable in…this event changed my life.

First-time attendee and reader 2013