Tag: swinging

The Sexual Agency of Miley Cyrus – Amy Jo Goddard

Wonderful article on Miley Cyrus twerking, written by savvy sexuality professional Amy Jo Goddard.

Bad pop doesn’t interest me. Dumb performances on MTV that are another cookie cutter-ed shape made of the same old “it’s your job to be pretty and sexy” mold bore me. When Sinead O’Connor got involved in the controversy over Miley Cyrus this week, it peaked my interest, and I took notice, because we all know she’ll tell it like it is.   In case you’ve missed it, in short, Miley Cyrus is creating a pretty consistent over-sexualized image of herself that involves a lot of tongue, few clothes, “twerking” on Robin Thicke, beer can penis simulators, riding a wrecking ball and giving a sledge hammer a blow job. Basically, her new video is soft porn and is getting a strong reaction, particularly from Sinead, and in my opinion, Miley looks pretty sad-eyed in most of her photographs. She’s a young woman who didn’t get to be a girl on her own terms. Another Michael Jackson, except her socialization as a female is different. All girls learn that it’s their job to be pretty and sexy and Miley is playing it right out of the book.   Sinead chose to focus on the idea that the music industry is trying to make Miley into something she is not, but, as Amanda Palmer wrote in her eloquent and smart response to Sinead, Miley IS the architect of her own image.   Here’s what I find interesting and important about this whole thing, and the place where some dialogue could be very productive. There is no real sincerity. I have no idea what Miley cares about and as a result, I don’t really care about her, like any character in any narrative. She doesn’t draw me in and that’s because there is an unintelligible space in her self-expression that doesn’t connect. I can look at her and think she’s beautiful or has a nice body, which I think she thinks and wants her viewers to think. But I don’t get drawn in. Because I don’t feel her agency.    And she’s 20. Few women have really stepped into their own agency at that age. Many women never do. She is exploring her sexuality and trying to figure out who she is–a normal adolescent task we all must go through–only she is doing it fully in the public eye. And she’s always been in that public eye and therefore needs the approval of others on a very deep level in order to maintain her own self-image.   What I’d love to see are more women who are self-possessed in their own bodies and sexuality, who really own who they are, don’t give a flying fuck about what anyone else thinks and who express themselves authentically. When a woman does that, she is deeply beautiful from the inside out and that radiance really does draw people in. It’s powerful. Maybe Miley will find her way there one day. For now, she’s searching and experimenting like anyone else her age.   There is a difference between someone who is authentically self-possessed and one who is just creating an image to be viewed, almost like a cardboard doll.  The untrained eye will have a difficult time distinguishing the difference. There is a literacy that comes with exploration, experience, critical analysis, and actual empowerment. A woman who has stepped into her own sexual agency and chooses not to be the victim, knows the difference. So many people will miss this part entirely.    Empowerment must include total agency. Victimization, by nature, does not. Sinead sees Miley as a victim, but Miley doesn’t see herself that way. Is she a victim? If so, of what? By whom? Herself or others?   A woman who is the agent over her own body, choices and sexuality is powerful. And no, we don’t have many such role models. I know Sinead wants Miley to be that. She wanted to be that and was in many ways. And both of them fall short on some level because anyone who is put up on a pedestal (as all stars are) will eventually fall.   So who are the the role models for young women? Who are the powerful women who are fully present in their sexuality, who authentically express their art, beauty and sexiness, own their desire and are unafraid to express it? They are not abundant. But they are there. Start with Amanda Palmer.

Amy Jo Goddard is a sexual empowerment coach, author, and sexuality educator. She is founder of SPECTRA, a mentorship program to help sexuality professionals make more money doing the sexuality work they are passionate about. As a David Neagle Certified Miracle of Money coach, Amy Jo helps women and couples create financial abundance, sexual pleasure and create the relationships and lives they desire. She teaches her Women’s Sexually Empowered Life Program in New York City and can be found blogging about all things sexual that make her tingle at AmyJoGoddard.com — visit her site to grab your free copy of her “More pleasure, better sex, deeper intimacy: 9 steps to a sexually empowered life” audio class!

99 cent APP – SmartSex™ – Confidential Sex Advisor

SmartSex™ APP recommended by SSSS Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.

SmartSex™ is your confidential sex advisor. It’s always within reach and easy to use. It features shake games, answers to your questions, sex news and even a weekly poll – all geared to getting you smarter about sex! Be confident and in the know: Get   SmartSex™.

The SmartSex™ app celebrates the pleasures of sex while offering authoritative information, tips, and the latest research findings to help app users make healthy decisions and welcome sex more naturally into their lives. The SmartSex™ app is a product of Pando Heath Resources, LLC and was developed by two public health professionals with extensive experience in sexuality education. The SmartSex™ app reflects the value the developers put on comprehensive sexuality education to enrich people’s lives. If adults have accurate and in-depth knowledge about sexuality, they usually enjoy sex more and live healthier lives.


Games – Three fun, Q&A shake games to test your knowledge. Games on sex info, sex myths, and sexual health. Shake for questions. Know how you score.


Links – Links to a host of Websites that specialize in specific sex topics for added depth.


Sex News – A regular sex news update with links to the original source. Items will cover sex and technology, trends in sexual behaviors, and offbeat (or intriguing) stories about sexuality today.


Weekly sex poll – Each week a new polling question is asked of smartsex™app users. Answer, then quickly compare your answer to the cumulative results from all respondents. A new week: a new question and opinion results.


Key Information – Satisfy your curiosity. Search words, topics and FAQs on those questions you need answered.


Sharing – smartsex™ app users can e-mail or use Facebook to share info from the app along with comments.


SlutWalk Philly: A March to End Rape Culture – TODAY – Philadelphia

Today, September 28 at 11AM, at LOVE Park, 1599 John F. Kennedy Blvd. March to end rape culture.

1) How should I dress?
However you are comfortable! The route is two miles, so keep in mind that if you are planning to walk with us you should wear shoes that you are willing to travel that distance in. At past SlutWalks folks have chosen to attend wearing very little, in order to make the statement that rape is never the fault of the victim, regardless of what they are wearing. You are welcome to come scantily clad the march if you like, but you are under no obligation to do so.

2) Does it cost any money to participate?
Nope! There will be t-shirts, buttons and other items available in exchange for donations to cover the cost of the walk, so you are welcome to bring a few dollars to spend, but you are under no obligation to spend any money.

3) Who is invited to participate?
EVERYONE! Regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, race, nationality, political affiliation, etc. Come and bring your friends!

4) Should I bring anything with me?
The current forecast for Saturday is high of 75 and low of 60, with plenty of sun! So consider bringing a bottle of water and maybe some sunglasses or other sun protection if you are sensitive. You are also welcome to bring a sign to carry with you! If you need ideas just google “slutwalk signs” and a ton of images and ideas will come up! Here’s one of the better links:http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-30-best-signs-at-slutwalk-toronto. We’ll also put up a separate list with sign ideas, so check that out too!

5) What time will the march start and end?
The march will start shortly after 11 AM at Love Park. Arriving early will allow you the chance to write something on a speak out sheet, talk to other attendees, and check out some of the things we’ll have available in exchange for donations! The route should take 40 or so minutes to travel and will end in Thomas Paine Plaza (where all the board game pieces are). There we will have a few speakers from local like minded organizations. Their remarks will probably last around half an hour. There will also be tables there from a few organizations, where you can pick up information and ask questions. You should feel free to hang out and socialize!

6) How will I know where to go?
There will be a crew at Love Park, on the side where the stage is, near the suburban station building, waiting for everyone to gather! When the march starts there will be banner at the front and folks with megaphones leading chants and kicking things off! There will be marshals at most, if not all of the turns on the route, pointing the march in the right direction.

7) Will there be interpreters present?
Yes! There will be American Sign Language and Spanish interpreters!

 Is the route wheelchair accessible?
Yes! The entire route and both parks are wheelchair accessible.

9) Will there be photographers and people filming? What do I do if I don’t want to be photographed or filmed? Can I take pictures and/or film?
Simply inform the person who is attempting to film you or take your picture that you do not wish to have your presence at the march documented and they will respect your space. If they do not oblige your request, please speak immediately to an organizer or a marshal. A general announcement will be made at the start and finish of the march that this is our policy. Do keep in mind, however, that we are moving through a public space, so there will likely be plenty of bystanders around that we will not have control over. If you have a camera, you are welcome to record or photograph the event, as long as you have consent (c;

10) Do I have to do the whole route? Do I need to stay the whole time?
Absolutely not! You are welcome to attend the march or the gatherings before or after, or any segment of the event overall that you are willing and able to take part in.

If you have any questions or concerns that were not addressed in this list, please feel free to contact us via facebook, twitter (slutwalkphilly) or email (slutwalkphiladelphia@gmail.com


Lady Dahl spoke with me recently, below is an excerpt from her lovely interview in Slixa. She is a regular contributor at the Salon.

THE SEXUAL PROWESS OF THE PHILADELPHIA EROTIC LITERARY SALONA COMMUNITY OF EROTICA CONNOISSEURS! Philadelphia’s Erotic Salon, hosted by clinical sexologist Susana Mayer, recently celebrated five years of sharing intimate oral exchange. The success of the multi-generational, multicultural, sexually charged forum – which now includes the Salon’s first eBook, SenSexual: A Unique Anthology 2013 Volumes 1 & 2, filled with works from many of the readers along with international contributions- seems to lay in the supportive sincerity of the venue’s Hostess.

The Salon’s cosmopolitan art house environment brings diverse people together in a way that has bonded them in a special sense similar to a sacred ritual, sharing secret desires and intimate life experiences. Her quiet, yet firm dominant tone, sets the mood, as we enter the mystery of the Salon every third Tuesday evening at the Bohemian Absinthe Lounge above TIME restaurant, in the heart of Philadelphia’s vibrant, social GLBT entertainment district.

SLIXA DAHL is excited to be Door Hostess again for September’s Salon. We sat down to discuss Susana’s venue, as we got ready for another sizzling sensate evening.

Susana – the Salon is often standing room only. Congratulations on the success of your venue! You must be so pleased with how the event has evolved over the last five plus years. What changes have you noted?

The Salon originally followed more closely the format of the Italian and French Salons that started in the 16th century. Because the attendance was smaller we were able to discuss and occasionally critique the works that were shared. With over 75 people it has become more entertainment. I have recently added a half hour Talk Q&A that is held prior to the readings.

From feedback I get from Salon attendees you have created an environment where men and women of different ages and identities feel very safe and comfortable discussing fantasies and ideas from different perspectives. What are your favorite aspects of Salon?

I enjoy watching people relate to some of the works, it shows on their faces. The moment when they feel normalized that someone else acts or feels the way they do.

Read More: 


Lady Dahl has many interesting articles at this link: