Tag: sex

Limp Dick Not Always ED No Need For Penis Enhancers

Dr. Marty Klein’s article on the cause for flaccid penis is a must read for men and the women who enjoy sex with them.

Ten Erection Disappointments That Are NOT “ED”

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Men, women, and couples come to my practice each week talking about “ED”—erectile dysfunction. The term apparently refers to anyone who can’t get an erection when he wants to—once. This, of course, implies that penises should behave like ATMs—ready to do business 24/7, rain or shine.

But that’s not how penises or the human brain are built. Penises actually need a lot of conditions in order to do what their owners, or their owners’ partners, want them to do. Those conditions can involve emotions, environmental issues, or features of the partner. If one of those isn’t quite right, even the healthiest penis will stubbornly stay small and soft and quite calm.

So here are ten common situations in which penis owners—or their partners—often expect or demand an erection, and don’t get one. Such cases are examples of unrealistic expectations, not ED.

* You’ve been drinking a lot
“A lot” might be as little as a couple of drinks. You don’t have to be drunk in order to be compromised by alcohol. You know how drinking slows down your reflexes for driving? It also slows down your erection reflex.

* You’re really tired
Sometimes sex is available exactly when we’re most tired—and worse, we may fear it won’t be available when we’re rested (or a potential partner has had a chance to think things over). Besides, many people leave sex for the last thing at night, when they can no longer do anything productive. When we treat sex so disrespectfully it’s no wonder if our bodies don’t respond.

* You’re afraid sex will lead to pregnancy (or an STI)
Even if you’re telling yourself over and over “it won’t happen,” or you’re repeating to yourself “don’t forget to pull out,” that can be pretty distracting.

* You don’t really want to have sex with this person
Sometimes it’s a long-term partner we’ve lost interest in, but we have sex in order to prevent conflict. Sometimes it’s a casual partner that we’re not that attracted to—but hey, it’s sex, right? Actually, wrong.

* The stuff she’s doing isn’t sexy to you—in fact, it hurts
Long, long fingernails where you don’t want them, too much teeth, thrusting or bouncing on your penis in a way that scares you—these can all chase away an erection. And a look, a phrase, or lingerie that she thinks is sexy but just strikes you wrong can also get in the way. Turns out men are more sensitive than some people give them credit for.

* She’s sloppy drunk
Why you’d want to have sex with a drunk woman is an important question. Among other things, it’s hardly ethical (although I understand that you both might be). But once you’re into it—or trying to be—it usually turns out to be way more trouble than it’s worth. Most penises don’t find it to be a pretty sight.

* She doesn’t want to have sex
Trying to talk someone into it—or roughly pushing them into it—gets some men excited, caveman-style. Most men are simply too human to enjoy it. And no matter how desirable she was before she said “no,” once a woman says “no” it’s hard for most men to keep their self-respect if they keep pushing. And erections usually leave when dignity does.

* You’re in a big hurry
If you’re in a big hurry, you’re either thinking about the thing you need to do next, or you’re worried about being caught (or simply running out of time). Not conducive to erection.

* You’re just not in the mood
Many men have been told that since women control sex, a man doesn’t have the luxury of not being in the mood when sex is available. If you’re not in the mood but proceed anyway, your penis may reveal the truth by refusing to participate.

* You still haven’t gotten over the argument you recently had
That argument hurt, didn’t it? And even if it didn’t, it made you feel separate from your partner, right? Besides, a productive argument actually gives you something to think about afterwards. If you’re thinking about that, that’s good—but it may not leave much of your attention available for sexual interest.
* * *
Why does it matter what we call a situation that may be, variously, aggravating, embarrassing, confusing, or shocking?

For one thing, getting beyond the narrative of ED means the lack of erection may not mean a lack of desire, arousal, or affection. For another, it means that the lack of erection may be quite temporary—as soon as the right conditions are arranged (an hour later, a week later), an erection may be quite available. And finally, it means that erection drugs may not be the right approach to getting the desired erection.

As in so many things sexual, honesty with oneself and communication with one’s partner are frequently the first steps toward improving your sexual experience—in this case, getting more reliable and drama-free erections.

Subscribe to Dr. Marty Klein’s free newsletter for a sex positive approach to many of your intimate questions. http://www.martyklein.com

Press Release – July 19 – The Erotic Literary Salon & Adult Sex-Ed Salon

Philadelphia’s Erotic Literary Salon and the Adult Sex-Ed Salon: Monthly Theme – “How has your sexual expression changed as you have gained experience?”Along with Attendee Readers, Tuesday, July 19.

 sex-positive-therapist

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

 

PCSalons@gmail.com – contact: Susana Mayer, Ph.D., Salonnière,

PCSalons@gmail.com – reserve a time slot to read at Salon (5 min max)

www.theEroticliterarysalon.com – guidelines for reading.

www.theEroticliterarysalon.com – blog: events, Salon notices, erotica, and guidelines.

 

 

 

The Erotic Literary Salon will be held Tuesday, July 19. The Adult Sex-Ed Salon is a one hour program held prior to the Erotic Literary Salon. This month’s theme will be “How has your sexual expression changed as you have gained experience?” Attendees will have the opportunity to pose their questions anonymously. ‘Walter’ along with Sexologist Susana Mayer, Ph.D. will answer them and attendees interested in sharing their knowledge and experiences will join in the discussion.

 

Approximately fifteen attendees will also entertain with their 5-minute erotica, sex memoirs, rants, short stories and poetry.

 

PHILADELPHIA: The Erotic Literary Salon, unique in the English-speaking world has launched a growing movement mainstreaming erotica. Salons attract a supportive audience of 65 or more individuals. Approximately 15 participate as writers, readers, storytellers, spoken word performers of original works/words of others, the rest just come to listen, enjoy and applaud. Frances, our resident nonagenarian (98 years young) occasionally recites her original erotica.

 

Salons gather the 3rd Tuesday of every month at TIME (The Bohemian Absinthe Lounge), 1315 Sansom Street, Center City, Philadelphia. Doors open at 6:30 p.m., for cocktails, food and conversation. Adult Sex-Ed between 7:00-8:00, readings begin at 8:30. Admission is $12, discounted for students and seniors to $10. Salon attendees must be 21.

 

Creator of this event, Dr. Susana, is Philadelphia’s best-known sexologist. She lends her voice to the Salon by offering relevant information to support the discussions that arise in the Salon and blog.

…surprisingly comfortable….Salon devotees praise her for the space she has created….” 

“I think Susana is doing a very brave thing.” 

Philadelphia Inquirer, February 10, 2010

 

“There are laughter and tears along with the hot rush of blood – to the face. 

Daily News, March 15, 2010

 

“I never knew such a life of honesty could exist. I finally found a home I can be comfortable in…this event changed my life.

First-time attendee and reader 2013

 

 

Press Release – July 19 – The Erotic Literary Salon & Adult Sex-Ed Salon

Philadelphia’s Erotic Literary Salon and the Adult Sex-Ed Salon: Monthly Theme – “How has your sexual expression changed as you have gained experience?”Along with Attendee Readers, Tuesday, July 19.

 sex-positive-therapist

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

 

PCSalons@gmail.com – contact: Susana Mayer, Ph.D., Salonnière,

PCSalons@gmail.comreserve a time slot to read at Salon (5 min max)

www.theEroticliterarysalon.com – guidelines for reading.

www.theEroticliterarysalon.com – blog: events, Salon notices, erotica, and guidelines.

 

 

 

The Erotic Literary Salon will be held Tuesday, July 19. The Adult Sex-Ed Salon is a one hour program held prior to the Erotic Literary Salon. This month’s theme will be “How has your sexual expression changed as you have gained experience?” Attendees will have the opportunity to pose their questions anonymously. ‘Walter’ along with Sexologist Susana Mayer, Ph.D. will answer them and attendees interested in sharing their knowledge and experiences will join in the discussion.

 

Approximately fifteen attendees will also entertain with their 5-minute erotica, sex memoirs, rants, short stories and poetry.

 

PHILADELPHIA: The Erotic Literary Salon, unique in the English-speaking world has launched a growing movement mainstreaming erotica. Salons attract a supportive audience of 65 or more individuals. Approximately 15 participate as writers, readers, storytellers, spoken word performers of original works/words of others, the rest just come to listen, enjoy and applaud. Frances, our resident nonagenarian (98 years young) occasionally recites her original erotica.

 

Salons gather the 3rd Tuesday of every month at TIME (The Bohemian Absinthe Lounge), 1315 Sansom Street, Center City, Philadelphia. Doors open at 6:30 p.m., for cocktails, food and conversation. Adult Sex-Ed between 7:00-8:00, readings begin at 8:30. Admission is $12, discounted for students and seniors to $10. Salon attendees must be 21.

 

Creator of this event, Dr. Susana, is Philadelphia’s best-known sexologist. She lends her voice to the Salon by offering relevant information to support the discussions that arise in the Salon and blog.

…surprisingly comfortable….Salon devotees praise her for the space she has created….”

“I think Susana is doing a very brave thing.”

Philadelphia Inquirer, February 10, 2010

 

“There are laughter and tears along with the hot rush of blood – to the face.

Daily News, March 15, 2010

 

“I never knew such a life of honesty could exist. I finally found a home I can be comfortable in…this event changed my life.

First-time attendee and reader 2013

 

 

First Sex Hospital, “Holy Grail” of Condom Tech, Sodomy a Felony in Michigan

Sex hospital! New clinic aims to get patients back in bed after surgery: Britain’s first ever ‘sexual healing’ centre aims to revolutionise speed and success of recovery from some of the UK’s biggest killers

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by Diana Appleyard

BRITAIN’S first sexual healing hospital clinic is about to open its doors.

It claims it will revolutionise the speed and success of recovery from the UK’s biggest killers such as cancer, strokes and heart disease.

It also aims to aid recovery from routine surgery such as hip replacements and conditions such as diabetes.

Launching later this month at the private Spire Hospital in Southampton, it is the work of sexual healing guru Mike Lousada, his partner Dr Louise Mazanti and leading hip-replacement surgeon Dr Jeremy Latham.

Dr Latham first had the idea after recognising a significant issue for his patients was the impact on their sex life. He said: “It’s extraordinary that, so far, the sexual needs of patients have been virtually ignored.

“I wanted to conduct a survey on this but couldn’t get funding so carried out one with a partner in Australia and we found 37 per cent of women with arthritic hips wanted hip surgery specifically so they could have sex with their partner.

“Various clinical studies have also shown how important sexual healing is to recovery from trauma. It is the one issue patients always want to ask me about, although they are often too shy.

“By having this sexual wellness clinic on our doorstep, we can refer patients straight away, knowing they will get expert, practical and informed treatment and advice.”

According to medical research, regular sex has the same benefits as regular exercise. It increases the flow of chemicals that naturally boost and strengthen the immune system, improves cholesterol levels, stimulates the circulation, invigorates the heart and diminishes the intensity of pain.

Team players ... new clinic is the work of  sexual healing guru Mike Lousada, his partner Dr Louise Mazanti and leading hip-replacement surgeon Dr Jeremy Latham
Team players … new clinic is the work of sexual healing guru Mike Lousada, his partner Dr Louise Mazanti and leading hip-replacement surgeon Dr Jeremy Latham Chris Balcombe

Mr Lousada, who will be running the hospital clinic with Dr Mazanti, said: “The need to have sex is the most basic vital function we have.

“Any kind of surgery has a deep impact on the body and we know memory, emotion and trauma are ‘stored’ in the central nervous system. If untreated with professional advice, this can lead to sexual problems which will inhibit both recovery and the patient’s return to full fitness and health.

“If we can work on these, I expect we will begin to see dramatic effects on the recovery levels of patients.

“I know from my current practice helping people with sex-related problems, how much of a difference improving or restarting their sex lives makes to their wellbeing.

“There can be a temptation to avoid sexual intimacy if you are in pain or suffering, so our aim is to unlock patients’ sexual potential and make them feel like desirable sexual beings again.

“Every physical ailment has an emotional link which should be treated. We offer patients physiotherapy, so why not sexual healing?” There is a deep physiological response to sexual stimulation, within the nervous system, which is just as healing as physically manipulating limbs.

“In simple terms, your body heals much faster if you have a good sex life.”

Dr Latham continued: “We’ve known for a long time how important resuming a normal sex life is to patients. And the most significant reason for people wanting hip surgery, as well as aiding walking, is to make sex less painful.

“Sexual healing cuts across all boundaries. People suffering from heart attacks, strokes, cancer and conditions such as diabetes all see sex as a vital part of their return to, or ability to lead, a ‘normal’ life.

“It’s the one issue patients want to discuss with their doctor, nurse or physiotherapist.

“But many health professionals, no matter how well-meaning, don’t have the expertise to give the best advice and treatment.”

Dr Deborah Barrett, of the University of North Carolina, carried out a recent study of sexual healing.

She said: “Sex unleashes chemical compounds in the brain — starting with oxytocin, otherwise known as the ‘bonding’ or ‘cuddle’ hormone.

“Oxytocin increases with sensual touch and peaks during orgasm. It also reduces the effects of stress, as measured by blood pressure and cortisol, all of which are relevant in reducing pain.

 


“Additional substances released through skin-to-skin touch, with peak effect at orgasm, also contribute to pain relief and the body’s natural healing.

“These include serotonin, our body’s natural anti-depressant phenylethylamine which activates the brain’s pleasure centre, and endorphins which are our natural painkillers.”

Libby Dowling, a senior clinical advisor for Diabetes UK, said: “For too long, sexual problems have been the elephant in the room when we talk about managing diabetes. Many people are reluctant to bring up the subject, although they are longing to ask, and healthcare professionals can be equally unwilling.

“It has been a hidden problem for some people and I hope in the future, they will be able to have much more open discussions.

“For this reason, we have included the issue of sex in our new book, 100 Things I Wish I’d Known About Living With Diabetes.

“Diabetes can affect the blood and nerve supply to the sexual organs, which can result in sexual dysfunction in men and inability to orgasm in women, as well as vaginal dryness and lack of arousal.

“There is also a significant link between sexual problems and depression and anxiety, which may be relevant to some people with diabetes. We are hoping to encourage people to talk much more openly about any sexual issues they have, because this can have such deep impact not just on themselves but on their partners, who can feel unloved.”

As if you needed an excuse ... according to medical research, regular sex has the same benefits as regular exercise
As if you needed an excuse … according to medical research, regular sex has the same benefits as regular exercise Getty Images

Testicular cancer charity Orchid also backs the new clinic. It recently carried out a survey as part of Male Cancer Awareness Month and found half of Brits did not know if treatment for testicular cancer would affect a man’s sex drive, cause erectile dysfunction or allow him to climax.

But male cancer nurse specialist Robert Cornes said: “Providing a man has two healthy testicles before getting testicular cancer, early removal of one testicle will not affect his sex drive or erectile function and he will be able to climax and have children.”

Orchid also welcomed a new survey into sexual healing. A charity spokesman said: “We know sex is such an important issue for men with testicular cancer, and this is an area that needs to be explored, with far more information and help given.”

Dr Latham added: “Having set up the clinic, we need to roll out a national study to produce evidence that can encourage public funding of sexual wellness clinics.

“We must raise the profile of sexual healing — it is an issue that has been ignored for far too long.”


It helps boost self-worth

Liz Sullivan ...
Liz Sullivan … “I was making love when I had a stroke, at age 49. My partner noticed I was unresponsive, and I ended up in hospital in a coma for several months.”

ARTIST Lil Sullivan, 58, of Camberwell, South London, is divorced with two daughters. Lil says:

“I was making love when I had a stroke, at age 49. My partner noticed I was unresponsive, and I ended up in hospital in a coma for several months. I hadn’t been ill beforehand and it came out of the blue. I later found I had very high blood pressure.

Sadly, since the stroke, I have had very little physical intimacy and really miss it. I think resuming your sex life after a trauma such as a stroke is so important – it makes you feel that you are becoming a whole person again, and the need to be touched and be loved is inherent in all of us.

There is very little information out there about how sexual healing could affect your recovery and I think that is such a shame.

We should talk much more openly about sex because it is a vital part of life.

I am still with my partner but he is afraid to resume our sex life because that is how I had a stroke in the first place.

To me, though, it would be so lovely – I feel as if I am not attractive any more because since the stroke, I have put on weight and walk with a stick.

People need to realise how important sex is to feeling our self-worth – not just physically, but emotionally as well.”

See stroke.org.uk


It’ll encourage men to talk

Adam Tann ...
Adam Tann … “I was diagnosed with testicular cancer when I was 24. At the time, I was a full-time footballer, felt extremely fit and healthy and thought I was invincible.”

FORMER professional footballer Adam Tann, 33, lives in Ramsey, Cambs, with his graphic designer wife Lauren, 32. Adam, who now runs an extreme sports events company, says:

“I was diagnosed with testicular cancer when I was 24. At the time, I was a full-time footballer, felt extremely fit and healthy and thought I was invincible. I never thought cancer would happen to me.

I was worried how my diagnosis and treatment would affect my sex life and fertility. Basically, I wanted to know whether I would still be the man I was before.

I was at stage one cancer, and had a testicle removed and a prosthetic implant put in, plus one dose of chemotherapy.

At first I was unsure about resuming our sex life – inevitably, I felt quite fragile and also lacking in confidence. My girlfriend Lauren, who later became my wife, was so understanding. We took things slowly – it was maybe four to six weeks before we resumed the physical side of our relationship.

In a way, you don’t want to burden doctors and consultants with too many questions, even though they are questions you really want to ask.

So I think having a sexual wellness clinic on hand is a really good idea and would help so many men in my condition.”


Sarah Taylor … “I have Type 1 diabetes. The symptoms began when I was 19, and studying at university. One day I collapsed and I was finally diagnosed after I was taken to hospital.” News Group Newspapers Ltd

HR business manager Sarah Taylor, 33, lives in Bristol. Single Sarah says:

“I have Type 1 diabetes. The symptoms began when I was 19, and studying at university. One day I collapsed and I was finally diagnosed after I was taken to hospital.

My first reaction was one of fear. Would I have to stop eating what I like, and drinking alcohol?

I was given information about how to administer my insulin injections, and once I had got over the initial shock, I did begin to wonder about how it would affect my sex life. At the time I would very much have welcomed more information about how my condition would affect my relationship and future pregnancies.

Diabetes does mean you are more prone to suffer from thrush, and that was quite awkward for me. Low blood sugar level can also affect your ability to orgasm.

The last thing you want to do is test your blood sugar levels before you have sex, as it rather takes away the spontaneity.

Being sexually active is so important to your general wellbeing, and your sense of who you are.

It also helps you to deal with the downsides, and keeps you feeling positive and optimistic.”

See diabetes.org.uk


Good fumbling facts

1. Good sex boosts your immune system so helps you recover from injury, viruses or operations faster.

2. Sex is classed as exercise. The NHS recommends we all get at least 2.5hrs of exercise per week and includes sex in that quota.

3. Sex reduces stress levels which, in turn, allows the body to heal faster after a trauma.

4. More sex means better pelvic floor health, so improved bladder control and increased blood flow to the genital region. Your pelvic floor muscles are breathing muscles so the more you use them, the better your breathing becomes. Good breathing is the key to good health in most ancient practices like yoga and Tai Chi.

5. Sex lowers your blood pressure, keeping you healthier for longer.

6. Sex lowers the risk of heart attacks which, until recently, was the number one killer in the UK.

7. Orgasms help reduce pain so if you have a headache, sex might be the answer. The less pain our body is in, the more it can relax, allowing faster healing from injury and disease.

8. Male ejaculation reduces prostate cancer and can aid recovery from prostate diseases – one of the UK’s top killers of men.

9. Prolactin, a hormone produced after orgasm, promotes sleep and sleep aids physical recovery from wounds and disease.

10. Sex releases oxytocin, the so-called bonding hormone that promotes feelings of self-esteem. The better we feel about ourselves the faster we recover from illness or injury.

Australian Engineers Develop the ‘Holy Grail’ of Condom Technology

by Tosten Burks

Researchers at the University of Queensland’s Australian Institute for Bioengineering and Nanotechnology (AIBN) announced today that their new latex technology, which incorporates molecular fibers extracted from native Australian grass, could be used to produce ultra-strong condoms that are 30 percent thinner than standard alternatives. The university’s president said the technology has “great potential to make a difference in the fight against HIV and AIDS.”

That’s no hyperbole. The thing about condoms is that people don’t like using them. Only 5 percent of men worldwide wear them. No less than the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has devoted millions in grants to developing condom solutions that enhance pleasure rather than decrease it. The stigmatization of condoms is one of the greatest barriers to sexual health around the world.

AIBN scientists argue that their latex—developed in partnership with the local Indjalandji-Dhidhanu people, who have creatively used resin from native spinifex grass for generations—opens the door for manufacturers to start marketing thin and satisfying prophylactic products that customers will actually use, rather than focusing on strength. In early “burst tests” (in which condoms are inflated until they burst), AIBN’s condoms withstood 20 percent more pressure than the control sample. They are 25 percent thinner than Trojans.

The team is now looking to license the technology, which it calls the “Holy Grail for natural rubber,” to the multibillion-dollar latex industry, where they see potential beyond the bed, especially in the field of surgery—nanocellulose latex gloves offer surgeons more sensitivity and less hand fatigue. The university signed an agreement with the Dugalunji Aboriginal Corporation to ensure that the local Aboriginal people, whose knowledge about spinifex formed the basis of AIBN’s work, retain equity in the technology’s commercialization.

https://www.good.is/articles/worlds-thinnest-condom

Michigan Senate Passes Bill Making Anal Sex Punishable By 15 Years In Prison

The measure was snuck into a bill banning animal abuse.

by Adam Salandra

The Michigan Senate just passed a bill that makes sodomy a felony, despite the U.S. Supreme Court declaring such a law unconstitutional.

The state’s law, which makes anal sex punishable by up to 15 years in prison, is not specifically targeted at gay people, as it’s illegal regardless of whether a couple is same-sex or different-sex.

Instead, the sodomy ban is directly linked to a law against bestiality, essentially saying the two are equal.

The law states that it is a felony for anyone to commit “the abominable and detestable crime against nature with mankind or with any animal.”

It’s the “with mankind” wording that creates the loophole to keep the sodomy ban intact, even though the 2003 ruling in Lawrence v. Texas declared it unconstitutional.

Now that the bill has passed through the Senate, it is headed to the House for approval, which means there is still time to change the wording and keep “mankind” out of it entirely.

But GOP Senator Rick Jones says an attempt like that could put the entire bill, created to protect animals, in jeopardy.

“The minute I cross that line and I start talking about the other stuff, I won’t even get another hearing. It’ll be done,” said Jones. “Nobody wants to touch it. I would rather not even bring up the topic, because I know what would happen. You’d get both sides screaming and you end up with a big fight that’s not needed because it’s unconstitutional.”

Jones believes that the sodomy ban can only be repealed if a bill is created to strike all unconstitutional laws from the state’s books, but he is not willing to do it at the expense of his dog bill.

“If we could put a bill in that said anything that’s unconstitutional be removed from the legal books of Michigan, that’s probably something I could vote for,” he said. “But am I going to mess up this dog bill that everybody wants? No.”

http://www.newnownext.com/michigan-senate-passes-bill-making-anal-sex-punishable-by-15-years-in-prison/02/2016/