Tag: pornography

Reminder-June 20-Book Release Party & Article “When Should Parents Talk To Kids About Porn?”

Next Tuesday, Jun 20 celebration, newly released book Madam Jillinghoff’s Bedroom Rhymes, recently published by West Philly Press. Master of verse parody Joe B. will present selections from his book. Joe has been entertaining guests of the salon with his verse parodies since November 2013, when he stepped up to the microphone for the first time and recited “The Lay of Mary Dawkins.” Two copies of Madam Jillinghoff will also be given away to lucky ticket holders.

Dr. Marty Klein: Changing the Way People, Politics & the Media Look at Sex

When Should Parents Talk To Kids About Porn?

When Should Parents Talk To Kids About Porn? That’s the question an interviewer asked me today.

The answer is: now. Especially if you haven’t talked to your kids about porn lately. Just like a single conversation isn’t enough to cover everything a kid needs to know about nutrition or bike safety as he or she grows, it isn’t enough to cover the subject of porn. Or the even more complex subject of sexuality.

Here are some key points of the interview.

* There is no “The Sex Talk” with kids. Rather, there’s a conversation that lasts 15 or 20 years—or longer, if you’re fortunate enough to have a relationship with your young adult kids.

* You don’t want porn to be the topic of the first talk you have with your kids about sex. Therefore, go talk with them about sex now, preparing the vocabulary and concepts for upcoming conversations about porn.

* Porn is part of the larger, long-term series of conversations about sex we have with our kids. Those talks involve how bodies work, what to expect from puberty, how to tell someone you like them, how to make good decisions (and how alcohol makes that difficult), why different people have sex, what to do if you feel pressured, and more.

* Porn isn’t made for kids, and we don’t want them watching it. Nevertheless, they need preparation for the watching that they’re going to do, whether it’s intentional or not. This is NOT a double message: we want them to bike safely, but require they wear a helmet; we want them to drive safely, but require them to wear a seat belt.

* When we talk to kids about porn, here are some subjects we need to cover:
~ Porn isn’t made for you;
~ Real sex doesn’t feel like porn looks;
~ Porn involves unusual bodies in unusual circumstances doing unusual things;
~ Adults sometimes play sex games that can be confusing for a kid to understand;
~ There’s a lot of preparation off-camera that we don’t see—the script, the planning, the use of products like lube and Viagra and contraception;
~ While many adults are OK about porn (for other adults), some adults totally object to anyone watching it;
~ You might think sexting is harmless, but it is really, really against the law, and if you do it you can really, really get in trouble with the police. If you get a sexy picture you didn’t ask for, please come and see me—I promise I won’t punish you.

* If you’re embarrassed to talk to your kids about sex or porn, say “I’m embarrassed.” Then talk anyway.

For more about enhancing porn literacy in young people (and reducing marital conflict about porn), see my new book or blog.

Video-Shocking Sex Secrets in Ancient Egypt

What I’m watching –

AN 18TH CENTURY GUIDE TO SEX POSITIONS “The Joy of Sex for Renaissance Times”

Enjoy the view!

cornelis_bos_-_leda_and_the_swan_-_wga2486-700x479

Cornelis Bos after Michelangelo, drawing, Leda and the Swan
0_00topframepic.jpg
I Modi or The Ways was a book of engravings depicting sixteen sexual positions. Think of it as The Joy of Sex for Renaissance times. The book, also known as The Sixteen Pleasures, was published by the engraver Marcantonio Raimondi in 1524. Raimondi based his explicit illustrations on a series of erotic privately owned paintings by Giulio Romano. The book was widely circulated. It led to the first prosecution for pornography by the Catholic church. Raimondi was imprisoned by Pope Clement VII. All copies of the book were destroyed.Our story doesn’t end there, as the poet and satirist Pietro Aretino heard of the book and wished to see Romano’s original paintings. Interestingly, Romano was not prosecuted by the Pope as his paintings (unlike Raimondi’s book) were not meant for public consumption. Aretino decided to write a series of erotic sonnets to accompany the paintings. He also successfully campaigned to have Raimondi released from prison.

In 1527, a second edition of I Modi was published with Aretino’s sonnets. Once again the Pope banned the book and all copies were destroyed—only a few small fragments of I Modi or Aretino’s Postures survive which are held at the British Museum.

In 1798 a completely new version of I Modi was published in France under the title L’Arétin d’Augustin Carrache ou Recueil de Postures Érotiques, d’Après les Gravures à l’Eau-Forte par cet Artiste Célèbre, Avec le Texte Explicatif des Sujets (The ‘Aretino’ of Agostino Carracci, or a collection of erotic poses, after Carracci’s engravings, by this famous artist, with the explicit texts on the subject) based on engravings by Baroque painter Agostini Carracci was published.

These 18th century engravings mixed classical myth and history within a contemporary setting—though their intention is still the same—to arouse and “educate” users to the joys of sex.

0_01VenusGenetrix.jpg
The frontispiece to the book the goddess of love, sex, beauty and fertility Venusdescending on a chariot.

0_02Paris_Oenone.jpg
Husband and wife Paris and Oenone try out penetration side-by-side.

0_03Angelique_Medor.jpg
Angelique and Medor—two characters from the opera ‘Roland’—perform the ‘reverse cowgirl,’ although they probably had a different name for it back then.

0_04Satyr_Nymph.jpg
The Satyr and the Nymph demonstrating the missionary position.

0_05Julia_athlete.jpg
Julia with some athlete and the reverse cowgirl.

0_06Hercules_Deianaira.jpg
Hercules using his strength to support Deianira in a standing missionary position.

0_07Mars_Venus.jpg
Mars and Venus—cowgirl, woman on top.

0_08Cult_Priapus.jpg
The Cult of Priapus: two satyrs perform more missionary positions.

0_09Antony_Cleopatra.jpg
Antony and Cleopatra and the ‘side-by-side missionary.’

0_10Bacchus_Ariane.jpg
Bacchus and Ariadne go for the doggy style ‘wheelbarrow.’

0-11Polyenos_Chriseis.jpg
More vanilla from Polyenos and Chryseis.

0_12Satyr_Wife.jpg
Mr. and Mrs. Satyr going for the full frontal missionary position.

0_13Jupiter_Juno.jpg
Jupiter and Juno the standing, kneeling missionary.

0_14Messalina_booth_Lisica.jpg
The Roman Emperor Claudius’ wife Messalina being pleasured in a brothel.

0_15Achilles_b
Achilles finding a new weak spot with Briseis.

0_16Ovid_Corinna.jpg
More missionary from ‘The Art of Love’ poet Ovid and ‘Corinna.’ 

0_17Aeneas_Dido_.jpg
Queen of Carthage Dido being finger-banged by the mythical Aeneas.

0_18Alcibiades_Glycera.jpg
Variation on a theme: Statesman Alcibiades and girlfriend Glycera and the missionary position.

0_19Pandora.jpg
http://dangerousminds.net/comments/an_18th_century_guide_to_sex_positions

 

Erotic Literary Salon-Live-March 15, “Pornography is a Library of Human Eroticism”

See you this Tuesday at TIME-Bohemian Absinthe Lounge. The Bad Boy of Romance, Sascha Illyvich will WoW us with his steamy words.

Rule 34: What It Says About Your Sexuality

The-Ghosts-of-Paolo-and-Francesca-Appear-to-Dante-and-Virgil-by-Ary-Scheffer-1855-660x350-1452591473

By Dr. Marty Klein from his newsletter ‘Sexual Intelligence.’

Rule 34: If it exists, or you can imagine it, there is porn of it. No exceptions.

Rule 34 summarizes everything about sexuality.

It says that human sexual fantasy is limitless. It says that anything can be eroticized, can be arousing, can be life-affirming. It reminds us that any ideas we have about what’s normal sex are about us, not about sex. I’m always telling patients “don’t blame sex for your ideas about sex.”

Rule 34 reminds us exactly what pornography is: a library of human eroticism. Pornography is a celebration of how humans can stretch their erotic imagination—sometimes in ways that disturb you or me. Nevertheless, pornography celebrates the erotic imagination BEYOND specific content. Like the ability to imagine the future, and the knowledge that we’re going to die, the enormous range of pornography is uniquely human.

Rule 34 also reminds us that people don’t necessarily want to do what they fantasize about. Sex with Kramer, George, & Jerry at the same time? Sex with a dolphin? Sex with someone about to be guillotined for stealing a loaf of bread? Sex with your grandmother at high noon on Times Square? A threesome with Batman & Robin?

Rule 34 also reminds us of the coin’s other side—that none of us can imagine the entire range of human eroticism. That should keep us humble. It’s somewhat like a gourmet travelling to a far-off, isolated country and discovering they eat something there he never considered food—say, fried worms. The issue isn’t so much does the gourmet want to eat fried worms; rather, it’s the idea that there’s “food” that he never considered food. And if that’s true about fried worms, about how many other “foods” might that also be true?

Rule 34 shows us all knit together in an erotic brotherhood (or sisterhood, if you will). If the human project of eroticism is bigger than both you and me, your turn-on and my turn-on that appear so different from each other are really small parts of a much bigger whole. And there are others who are into your turn-on (which I find so exotic), and there are others—perhaps many others—who think my turn-on is so very exotic.

Imagine travelling to another country whose customs may be unfamiliar. We go to Italy and see adults and children topless together on the same beach. We go to India and see cows on the street. We go to Vietnam and see old women doing manual labor on construction sites. We go to Denmark and see men and women nude in a sauna together. We go to Russia and learn we have to bribe taxi drivers with Marlboros if we want them to pick us up.

International travel teaches us about our own customs: when I return from a trip I’ve always learned something about the way WE do things, because I’ve been to a place where they don’t do that. I learn that my way isn’t the right way, it’s just my way. No matter how much I prefer it, no matter how much it’s right for me, it’s just my way, not the right way.

Rule 34 helps us understand that about sexuality. Your porn isn’t right, it’s just your porn. That goes for No Porn, and Gentle Porn, too: it isn’t right, it’s just your way. And that goes for our sexuality in general—our way isn’t the right way, it’s just our way. A good sexual relationship involves people whose respective ways mesh: one person expands their vocabulary, or both do, or one narrows theirs, or both do. As long as people can fit together with dignity and celebration (um, there’s MY values again), it doesn’t matter what they do.

Rule 34: everyone else is different from you. But governments, religions, and activists try to whitewash almost every kind of sexuality except the version they approve of. As biologist Mickey Diamond says, nature loves variety; unfortunately, society hates it.

Subscribe Free: http://www.martyklein.com