Tag: literature

TONIGHT-Tuesday-Oct 17-The Erotic Literary Salon/Adult Sex Ed

Program for tonight:

  • Adult Sex Ed
  • Jon Drucker’s Book Release Party
  • Memorial readings for Frances Seidman-First reader at the Salon in May 2008
  • Information regarding the Erotic Literary Salon readings at the Philadelphia Museum of Art in a few weeks.
  • Do come and read (sign-up at the door) or just come to listen. If you would like to participate but don’t write, you can read from the Craig’s list personals I hand-out.
  • Doors open 6:30 – see you tonight.

I enjoy sensual pictures of people and sharing them with the Salon.

Reminder-June 20-Book Release Party & Article “When Should Parents Talk To Kids About Porn?”

Next Tuesday, Jun 20 celebration, newly released book Madam Jillinghoff’s Bedroom Rhymes, recently published by West Philly Press. Master of verse parody Joe B. will present selections from his book. Joe has been entertaining guests of the salon with his verse parodies since November 2013, when he stepped up to the microphone for the first time and recited “The Lay of Mary Dawkins.” Two copies of Madam Jillinghoff will also be given away to lucky ticket holders.

Dr. Marty Klein: Changing the Way People, Politics & the Media Look at Sex

When Should Parents Talk To Kids About Porn?

When Should Parents Talk To Kids About Porn? That’s the question an interviewer asked me today.

The answer is: now. Especially if you haven’t talked to your kids about porn lately. Just like a single conversation isn’t enough to cover everything a kid needs to know about nutrition or bike safety as he or she grows, it isn’t enough to cover the subject of porn. Or the even more complex subject of sexuality.

Here are some key points of the interview.

* There is no “The Sex Talk” with kids. Rather, there’s a conversation that lasts 15 or 20 years—or longer, if you’re fortunate enough to have a relationship with your young adult kids.

* You don’t want porn to be the topic of the first talk you have with your kids about sex. Therefore, go talk with them about sex now, preparing the vocabulary and concepts for upcoming conversations about porn.

* Porn is part of the larger, long-term series of conversations about sex we have with our kids. Those talks involve how bodies work, what to expect from puberty, how to tell someone you like them, how to make good decisions (and how alcohol makes that difficult), why different people have sex, what to do if you feel pressured, and more.

* Porn isn’t made for kids, and we don’t want them watching it. Nevertheless, they need preparation for the watching that they’re going to do, whether it’s intentional or not. This is NOT a double message: we want them to bike safely, but require they wear a helmet; we want them to drive safely, but require them to wear a seat belt.

* When we talk to kids about porn, here are some subjects we need to cover:
~ Porn isn’t made for you;
~ Real sex doesn’t feel like porn looks;
~ Porn involves unusual bodies in unusual circumstances doing unusual things;
~ Adults sometimes play sex games that can be confusing for a kid to understand;
~ There’s a lot of preparation off-camera that we don’t see—the script, the planning, the use of products like lube and Viagra and contraception;
~ While many adults are OK about porn (for other adults), some adults totally object to anyone watching it;
~ You might think sexting is harmless, but it is really, really against the law, and if you do it you can really, really get in trouble with the police. If you get a sexy picture you didn’t ask for, please come and see me—I promise I won’t punish you.

* If you’re embarrassed to talk to your kids about sex or porn, say “I’m embarrassed.” Then talk anyway.

For more about enhancing porn literacy in young people (and reducing marital conflict about porn), see my new book or blog.

Reminder-Tuesday Jan 17-The Erotic Literary Salon-Live, Between The Sheets-Writing & Selling Erotica w/Rachel Kramer Bussel

Come prepared to ask your anonymous sex and sexuality questions. Adult Sex-Ed is all about the attendees’ and sexologist Susana Mayer answering your questions.

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Between The Sheets a writing and selling erotica class with the famous editor and writer Rachel Kramer Bussel. Class begins February 7, online.

Rachel has read her erotica at the Erotic Literary Salon several years ago. She is definitely a person who teaches what she practices and has a most successful erotica writing and editing career.

Class Description

Let’s talk about sex.

Specifically, writing about it.

First, it ain’t easy to write. Sex itself can be awkward enough, but describing it? Without sounding like a goofball? That can be tough.

Second, there’s this whole big genre totally devoted to sex called erotica, which has turned into a dirty word among writers—especially those who think Fifty Shades of Grey is all it has to offer.

But you can write sex with a deft hand, with skill and grace, in a way that reveals character and emotion. And you’ll learn to do that in Between the Sheets with Rachel Kramer Bussel.

Rachel has been writing erotica for over 15 years, and has edited over 50 anthologies, including Hungry for More, The Big Book of Orgasms, Fast Girls, and Cheeky Spanking Stories, and is Best Bondage Erotica series editor. Her short stories have been published in over 100 anthologies, including the Best American Erotica, Best Women’s Erotica, Best Gay Erotica and Best Lesbian Erotica series. For five years she ran the In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series, and has conducted readings and taught erotic writing workshops across the country.

As part of the class, you’ll receive a bibliography and market listing, and you’ll be pointed to current markets that are looking for new writing.

What This Class Covers

Week One: Erotica is Everywhere

We will define erotica and its purpose, including examples from literary fiction and erotic novels, including varying types of language and the mechanics of writing about sex, including research (no, you absolutely don’t have to have done the things you’re writing about). We’ll discuss language, voice, pace, and how to find the erotic potential in everyday situations, as well as how to overcome internal hurdles to writing erotica and answer your friends’ and families’ nosy questions.

Assignment: Students will be asked to write a prompt-driven erotic scene with particular attention to fresh imagery and avoidance of cliche.

Week Two: From Humor to Heartache: Setting the Mood

Erotica is not necessarily about shiny happy people having the best orgasms of their lives on every page (though you will find plenty of happy people enjoying their sexuality). Erotica may or may not have a traditional happy ending (pun intended). We’ll examine why humor and heartache work in erotica and how they can be used to your best advantage to add to the tension and draw of a story.

Assignment: Students will respond to story prompts incorporating humor and heartache respectively using the same set of characters.

Week Three: Motivation

Why is erotica about more than just a sex scene? How can you enhance the sex scenes in your stories by adding conflict, backstory and motivation? How does writing about characters fundamentally different from you push you to explore the genre, and what does it teach you about sexuality? We’ll explore different motivations within erotica and how they fuel the story.

Assignment: Students will explore point of view and voice in erotica by telling the same story from multiple viewpoints, and examining which voice speaks the most strongly.

Week Four: The Business of Erotica and Submitting Your Work

What are editors looking for in today’s erotica marketplace, and how can you stand out? Should you use a pseudonym? How can you extend your work beyond a single story? How much money can you expect to make from writing erotica?

Assignment: Complete a short story and submit it to a current market.

Goals Of This Class

  • Learn what erotica is (and isn’t)—and about the marketplace for erotica and erotic fiction
  • Write from various points of view, sexualities, and character types
  • Incorporate elements of pop culture, news, and everyday life into your erotica
  • Craft a complete erotic short story and submit it

 

Reminder Next Tuesday-Oct 18-The Erotic Literary Salon-Live, 10 Steps to Writing Arousing Erotica by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Kathleen Murphy teacher, writer, poet will be the featured presenter next Tuesday, October 18th. Dr. Murphey will present an excerpt from her story, “The Frog and the Transgendered Prince” a story about Stephanie, the spoiled, awkward princess. http://www.kathleenmurphey.com.

Vintage Sex

Several years ago Rachel Kramer Bussel presented her writings at the Salon. She is a prolific writer and has edited over 50 anthologies. The following are her 10 tips for writing erotica.

10 Steps to Writing Arousing Erotica

By  on November 5, 2013

Rachel Kramer Bussel has been writing erotica for over decade, and after writing hundreds of stories and editing over 50 anthologies, she’s come up with ten tips for penning your next erotic letter, story or novel.

1. Write Your Passion

Write because you have something to express about sexuality—your own or the topic in general. As with any writing, don’t force it; the impulse should come from somewhere inside you. That doesn’t mean you have to know everything that will happen in advance (it’s probably better if you don’t), but being genuinely excited about your erotica will show in your writing. Yes, you can make some money doing it, but don’t expect you’re going to be buying a new house as the next E.L. James (though anything’s possible).

2. Anticipation

Just like the Carly Simon song, anticipation is important in erotica. You want the reader to be enthralled by the tension between your characters (whether a person alone, a couple, a triad, or more), and eager to find out what will happen next. That doesn’t mean you can’t start with a sex scene, but it does mean that if you do, you have to maintain that level of tension throughout. Have your characters flirt, fight, flee, eat, drink, tease, travel, talk dirty—and whatever else—before they get to the moment everyone is waiting for. Then when they are together in an intimate moment, your reader will feel invested in knowing exactly how the sexual action plays out.

3. Who What When Where Why

The traditional journalistic questions of who, what, when, where and why apply equally well to erotica. Readers want to know more than just who put which body part where; they want to know what the characters are thinking, where they are (whether it’s a bedroom or a boat or an airplane or a dungeon). Is it their first or fortieth time together? If they’re a couple, how is this moment different from their usual erotic m.o.? Set the scene in every way—that doesn’t mean we need to know what color shoelaces or bra or lipstick someone’s wearing (unless it adds to the mood), but we need to know more about them than that they’re hot to trot.

4. The Five Senses

Similarly, you can further set the mood by paying attention to all the senses—taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing. Does the sexy barista smell like coffee—and what does her lover think about that? Does the mechanic have motor oil under his fingers? I once set a story in a chocolate shop after I’d walked into one and been overcome by the heady sensation of all that sweetness. Exploring senses other than touch, even if briefly, adds depth to your story.

5. Social Media is Your Friend

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so why not get inspiration for your next thousand words by using Flickr, Twitter and Facebook? Right now I’m looking at an image on Pinterest of a woman lying in bed with her wrists bound, wearing a pretty pair of panties and biting her upper arm. Is she doing so in pleasure? Agony? Alone? While being watched? Under someone’s orders? You could say yes to all of those scenarios and write a story inspired by that image—or any other. Wikipedia is also a great place to look up fetishes and other sexual curiosities.

6. The News is Also Your Friend

Your daily reads, whether The New York Times or Gawker, can be a wealth of inspiration. I’ve used everything from a story about how to speak to a large group of people to gossip that Rihanna enjoys getting bikini waxes to spark a story. Magazines can also provide fodder—based on an article on fashion for runners in Runner’s World, I wrote about a woman who rocked a running dress during a race. You never know where, when or how inspiration will strike.

7. Change genders, locations, points of view

Once you’ve been writing erotica for a while, it’s likely that you may get a little bored, or your stories may start to seem too similar. One great way to shake things up, challenge yourself and discover new ideas is to change the gender or sexual orientation of a character, whisk them away somewhere, or alter points of view. If you usually write in first person (“I”), switch to third person (“He” or “She”) or the trickier second person (“You”).

8. Sex Toys Add Fun

Sex toys can be a wonderful boost of stimulation to your storytelling. Maybe a couple is looking to spice things up, maybe one is using a toy they’re hiding from the other, maybe someone is curious about a toy but doesn’t know how it works, or isn’t sure what size dildo or what type of nipple clamps to get. And remember—”sex toy” doesn’t just have to mean a vibrator, butt plug or blindfold! Household items like rulers, ice and furniture can work equally well for an erotica story.

9. Be Quirky

Remember that you can eroticize anything! I’ve written erotica about a woman with a fondness for washing dishes, bukkake, fire eating, breakups, risqué restaurants and a sexathon. As long as everything is consensual and you follow the editor’s guidelines (see below), anything goes. The beauty of erotica is you’re not bound by the conventions you would be in real life. You can take on any fantasy, fetish, or persona. I love stories that are set in the last place I’d expect, or have a fun twist.

10. Follow the Guidelines

This tip is perhaps the least fun, but probably the most important. If you’re submitting your erotica to a publisher, be it a contest, online magazine, or book publisher, you absolutely must follow the guidelines. Don’t assume they are suggestions or that your story is so special you can get away with flouting the rules. Doing so makes you look disrespectful to the editor and lowers your chances of getting published pretty close to zero. You can enter Gasms’s writing contest, and  find more erotica writing guidelines at the Erotica Readers & Writers Association, and check your favorite editors’ blogs too—Alison Tyler posts calls often.

http://gasm.org/article/10-steps-to-writing-arousing-erotica/