Tag: dating

Feminist Porn Award & Conference – Tristan Taormino – Rachel Kramer Bussel

Glad there is a feminist porn award, women need to realize there is no shame in enjoying hot, racy, sexually explicit material.

I missed Tristan Taormino’s first Feminist Porn Conference, but the following review by Rachel Kramer Bussel has kept me informed.

Excerpt:

Organic, Fair-Trade Porn: On the Hunt for Ethical Smut

by  

Just what exactly is feminist porn? Rachel Kramer Bussel attends the Feminist Porn Awards to find a new generation of erotic performers and producers with a mission.

Feminism has come a long way since Robin Morgan wrote in 1974, “Pornography is the theory, and rape is the practice,”—so far, in fact, that this past weekend saw the eighth-annual Feminist Porn Awards and first Feminist Porn Conference, an offshoot of the just-published The Feminist Porn Book, in Toronto. The mood was celebratory, political, and inquisitive, showcasing a sex-positive feminism that’s about far more than leaning in, or even leaning back.

Yet as far as we’ve come, I still got asked on Facebook when posting about attending, “Is this a joke?” For Toronto sex-toy store Good for Her, organizers of the FPAs, far from it—it’s a selling point. While browsing there, I overheard a staffer touting a film by Erika Lust to a middle-aged male customer as an FPA winner. The seven jurors take their work of judging 110 submissions seriously—but not too seriously, considering they award trophies topped with a crystal butt plug for categories such as Golden Beaver (Canadian content) and Smutty Schoolteacher (sex ed), and the event expanded to a new venue to hold the approximately 550 attendees.

The very act of defining “feminist porn” is one that’s still up in the air. Certainly it’s not the Sheryl Sandberg–endorsed book Porn for Women, with its wink-wink photos of hunky topless guys doing housework, which was exquisitely skewered by online comic xkcd, nor is it “a man and a woman meet at Planet Organic after a gender studies lecture, discuss intersectionality over vegetarian food, and then go back to her flat to bone on last Sunday’s Observer,” jokingly offered up by Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett and Holly Baxter in The New StatesmanDiffering definitions were offered by the awards and by the book’s authors, but all agree that a focus on genuine female pleasure plays a role. Conference organizer Tristan Taormino insisted that porn is “absolutely” the right word (instead of “erotica”). “By not using the term porn, we’re caving in to this idea that porn is low class, for men, not by us or for us.” She calls her own porn, such as FPA winner The Ultimate Guide to Pegging, “organic, free-trade porn,” and urged consumers and creators to take a page from the organic-food movement. “We have to make connections between fair labor practices even when the labor being performed is sex. If you care about the conditions under which your food was made and the conditions under which your jeans were made, then you should care about the conditions under which your pornography is made. You should be willing to pay a little more.”

The use of “feminist” was a bit more controversial.

Read More: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/04/13/free-trade-organic-porn-on-the-hunt-for-ethical-smut.html

Polyamory – May Be Good For You – 5 Myths About Polyamory

This article states 5% of Americans are involved in consensual nonmonogamy. From the anecdotical evidence I have gathered that is a low figure. But keep in mind, it really doesn’t matter what that number is, if this is a life-style you want to pursue, then I suggest you do your homework.

Excellent polyamory myths debunked.

Excerpt from article in Live Science below:

5 Myths About Polyamory

by Stephanie Pappas, LiveScience Senior Writer

Researchers estimate that as many as 5 percent of Americans are currently in relationships involving consensual nonmonogamy — that is, permission to go outside the couple looking for love or sex.

The boundaries in these relationships are remarkably varied, with some couples negotiating one-off “swinging” or partner-swapping experiences. and others forming stable bonds among three, four or five partners simultaneously. The latter is a version of polyamory, relationships in which people have multiple partnerships at once with the full knowledge of all involved.

Polyamorous people have largely flown under the radar, but that’s beginning to change as psychologists become intrigued by this unusual group. The first annual International Academic Polyamory Conference takes place Feb. 15 in Berkeley, Calif., and ongoing studies are examining everything from how jealousy works in polyamorous relationships to how kids in polyamorous familes fare. Though there’s a lot left to learn, initial findings are busting some myths about how love among many works.

Myth #1: Poly people are unsatisfied

When someone goes outside a relationship looking for companionship or sex, it’s natural to assume there’s something missing from their romance. But that doesn’t appear to be the case for polyamorous individuals.

Melissa Mitchell, a graduate student in psychology at the University of Georgia, conducted research while at Simon Frasier University in Canada on 1,093 polyamorous individuals. The participants were asked to list a primary partner and a secondary partner (more on that later), and they averaged nine years together with their primary and about two-and-a-half years with their secondary.

Mitchell and her colleagues surveyed their participants about how satisfied and fulfilled they felt in their relationships. They found that people were more satisfied with, felt more close to and more supported by their primary partner, suggesting that their desire for a secondary partner had little to do with dissatisfaction in the relationship. And satisfaction with an outside partner didn’t hurt the primary relationship. [6 Scientific Tips for a Successful Marriage]

“Polyamorous relationships are relatively independent of one another,” Mitchell said in January at the annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology in New Orleans. “We tend to assume in our culture that if you have your needs met outside your relationship, some kind of detrimental effect is going to result, and that’s not what we find here.”

Read More: http://www.livescience.com/27125-5-myths-about-polyamory.html