Tag: abstinence

Free-Video-Victorian Erotica, Article-What Do Women Want?

Primer on recent article written by Daniel Bergner for the NYTimes magazine, “What Do Women Want?”

My comment regarding article:

While conducting focus groups for my dissertation several years ago, it became apparent that women were seeking a quick fix for their self-diagnosed low libidos. When I recommended erotica (often porn by another name) some women were pleased by the ‘permission’ I gave them with this suggestion. Other women cried fowl – ‘anti-feminist’ planting the seed for my Erotic Literary Salon. The space affords all sexes the opportunity to speak their inner sexual voice, with no judgment from the audience. Often women share fantasies that are anything but sweet and men express their softer side. Perhaps it is society’s expectations that even restrict our fantasies, often creating shame and limiting our true sexual turn-ons. It is ultimately our libido’s that suffer and we want to reach for a quick fix.

Excerpts:

1. It’s Complicated

The short answer: Who the &*%$ knows. Science-wise, the study of women’s sexuality is still at the baking soda and vinegar volcano stage. The field is underfunded and plagued by the idea that it’s a little pervy. It’s politically volatile and upsetting findings are assailed by both the right and left, and, not to rat out the sisters, but women are confusing. Our sexuality is a confusing morass of still-poorly understood biological reactions, psychology and societal expectations. Only recently scientists have discovered and mapped the extensive internal parts of the clitoris, there’s no agreement on whether or not the G-spot even exists, and some women can just think their way to orgasm. However…

2. Women are way more visual than they let on—or even realize.

Researchers hooked men and women up to genital arousal monitoring devices and showed them a variety of porn—a man masturbating, a man and woman having sex, even a pair of bonobo apes getting it on. The heterosexual men reported being most turned on by scenes of women with women, women alone, and men with women. (Homosexual men, same deal but with the orientations reversed.) Women, however, were actually turned on by it all, even the monkey sex. Did the women really not know what was going on with their bodies, or where they just embarrassed to admit that they were more turned on by bonobo hard-ons than a strolling naked man? Keep in mind that the women in this study were liberated enough to watch porn in a lab with wires hooked up to their groins.

3. Monogamy turns women off.

After one to four years of monogamy, a woman’s desire for her partner drops far more dramatically than a man’s. (This effect is markedly reduced if the couple lives apart.) The once white-hot passion of early love often turns into muted, dutiful sex or trying to avoid sex altogether. One woman in the book described marital sex thus: “My body would respond, but the pleasure was like the pleasure of returning library books.”

Read entire article, including comments:

http://www.damemagazine.com/2013/05/29/what-women-want-primer#comment-915407585

 

Press Release – June 18 – Erotica Author Jaime Brenner (AKA Logan Belle) – “Miss Chatterley”

Philadelphia’s Erotic Literary Salon, Featuring Erotica Author Logan Belle, Reading Miss Chatterley and Offering Tips for Writing Erotic Novels, Tuesday, June 18.

Monday, May 27, 2013

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

PCSalons@gmail.com – contact: Susana Mayer, Ph.D., Salonnière,

PCSalons@gmail.comreserve a time slot to read at Salon (5 min max)

www.theEroticliterarysalon.com – guidelines for reading.

www.theEroticliterarysalon.com – blog s+x news, Salon notices, erotica, and guidelines.

The Erotic Literary Salon will be held Tuesday, June 18. Featured reader Jamie Brenner (AKA Logan Belle) is a native Philadelphian. She has published six novels, including five erotic romances under her pen name Logan Belle. Her books have been translated into a dozen languages. Her romantic historical The Gin Lovers was praised by Fresh Fiction as one of the Top Thirteen Books to read in 2013. Her latest novel is Miss Chatterley, a modern re-telling of the erotic masterpiece Lady Chatterley’s Lover. She lives in New York City.  http://www.jamiebrenner.com

Jamie Brenner will also give the pre-Salon talk and Q&A on tips for writing erotic novels. Considering her accomplishments this presentation should be most enlightening.

PHILADELPHIA: The Erotic Literary Salon, unique in the English-speaking world has launched a growing movement mainstreaming erotica. Salons attract a supportive audience of 70 or more individuals. Approximately 20 participate as writers, readers, storytellers, spoken word performers of original works/words of others, the rest just come to listen, enjoy and applaud. Frances, our resident nonagenarian (96 years young) often recites her original erotica.

Salons gather the 3rd Tuesday of every month at TIME (The Bohemian Absinthe Lounge), 1315 Sansom Street, Center City, Philadelphia. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. (limited seating), for cocktails, food and conversation. Talk and Q&A between 7:00-7:30 and readings begin at 8:00. Admission is $10, discounted for students, and seniors (65+) to $8. Salon attendees must be 21.

Creator of this event, Dr. Susana, is Philadelphia’s best-known sexologist. She lends her voice to the Salon by offering relevant information to support the discussions that arise in the Salon and blog.

 

…surprisingly comfortable….Salon devotees praise her for the space she has created….”

“I think Susana is doing a very brave thing.”

Philadelphia Inquirer, February 10, 2010

 

“There are laughter and tears along with the hot rush of blood – to the face.

Daily News, March 15, 2010

 

“I never knew such a life of honesty could exist. I finally found a home I can be comfortable in…this event changed my life.

Warren Katz, first time attendee and reader

 

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1/2 Price Tickets – Bootycandy – The Wilma Theater, It’s My Party: The Women and Comedy Project – 1812 Productions – Plays and Players

Philly Fun Savers offering 1/2 price tickets to Bootycandy and It’s My Party. I shall be attending Bootycandy on Wednesday and It’s My Party on Thursday, join me. 1/2 price tickets are being offered for other days as well. Full price tickets are available through the individual theaters.

The meetup Passports to Pleasure will be meeting in the lobby 1/2 hour before the show. This is a group that attends the Erotic Literary Salon monthly and offers a lot of other wonderful events. http://www.meetup.com/PassportToPleasure/events/115937462/

It’s My Party: The Women and Comedy Project

A world premiere comedy from “Philadelphia’s reigning comic queen.” (American Theatre Magazine)

It’s My Party: The Women and Comedy Project is the culmination of two years of research, a dozen workshops, and nearly a hundred interviews with women from all walks of life—exploring, and exposing, the role of comedy in women’s lives. This comedy extravaganza features seven of Philadelphia’s funniest actresses and a script by Jennifer Childs in a one-of-a-kind theatrical event. http://www.playsandplayers.org

Bootycandy

Behind a tall church pulpit, a fire-and-brimstone preacher delivers a shocking sermon to his congregation. On the tropical sands of a deserted island, two lesbians come together. And at the home of a young boy, Sutter, a mother scolds him for reading Jackie Collins romance novels. This is just a taste of playwright Robert O’Hara’s wildly imaginative anthology of sassy lessons in sex ed, a kaleidoscope of sketches that interconnect to portray growing up gay and African-American. With variety-show vivacity, outrageous humor, and real heart and soul, it tests how we talk about human desire and racial stereotypes at home, in church, and on the corner. Shantay! Sashay! https://wilmatheater.org

http://www.phillyfunguide.com/page/Funsavers_2013

Elizabeth Smart – Pro-Abstinence Sex Ed Harms Victims of Rate

Surprising admission from Elizabeth Smart as to why she did not try to escape her attacker. Read this and more –  excerpt from Slate.com, article by Amanda Hess.

Elizabeth Smart Says Pro-Abstinence Sex Ed Harms Victims of Rape

In 2002, 14-year-old Elizabeth Smart was abducted from her Salt Lake City home, held captive in the mountains, and raped repeatedly for nine months.* Since her escape, she has emerged as an advocate for human trafficking victims—and recently, a critic of abstinence-only sex education. When Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins University panel last week, she explained one of the factors deterring her from escaping her attacker: She felt so worthless after being raped that she felt unfit to return to her society, which had communicated some hard and fast rules about premarital sexual contact.

“I remember in school one time, I had a teacher who was talking about abstinence,” Smart told the panel. “And she said, ‘Imagine you’re a stick of gum. When you engage in sex, that’s like getting chewed. And if you do that lots of times, you’re going to become an old piece of gum, and who is going to want you after that?’ Well, that’s terrible. No one should ever say that. But for me, I thought, ‘I’m that chewed-up piece of gum.’ Nobody re-chews a piece of gum. You throw it away. And that’s how easy it is to feel you no longer have worth. Your life no longer has value.”

Read more:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/05/06/elizabeth_smart_abstinence_only_sex_education_hurts_victims_of_rape_and.html