I Kiss so Hot – Sexy Opera

I enjoy exposing my followers to various erotic / sexy styles of entertainment. If you have never been exposed to Opera, this 5 minute flirtatious aria sung by Danielle de Niese is a great way to start.

“Can opera be ever-so-slightly sexy? The glorious soprano Danielle de Niese shows how, singing the flirty “Meine Lippen, sie küssen so heiss.” Which, translated, means, as you might guess: “I kiss so hot.” From Giuditta by Frans Lehár; accompanist: Ingrid Surgenor.”


Cynthia Nixon says she’s gay by ‘choice.’ Is it really a choice?

There are differences between sexual identity, sexual orientation and sexual behavior. I will offer future Salons in Philadelphia where these topics will be explored and discussed. The bottom line is, some people feel they have more choices than others when it comes to sexual orientation, society labels them bisexual. Cynthia Nixon may be one of these individuals.

Personally I abhor these labels, since I believe we have the capability of living our lives on a continuum range. It is the combination of genetics, experience and society that influence our choices. Labels pigeonhole our choices.

The gay community was upset by Cynthia’s choice of ‘choice.’

Cynthia Nixon says she’s gay by ‘choice.’ Is it really a choice?

By Karen Kaplan, Los Angeles Times/For the Booster Shots blog

11:47 AM PST, January 25, 2012

Former “Sex and the City” star Cynthia Nixon says she is gay by “choice” – a statement that has riled many gay rights activitists who insist that people don’t choose their sexual orientation.

Here’s what Nixon, who recently shaved her head to play a cancer patient in a Broadway production of “Wit,” told the New York Times Magazine:

“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.”

The question of whether sexual orientation is subject to nature or nurture – or some combination of both – has been hotly debated for years. If it is not an immutable characteristic, that would imply that a gay person could be somehow transformed into a straight one. In other words, homosexuality could be “cured.” Which in turn implies that being gay is some sort of illness.

Hence, the offense taken to this point of view.

Nixon seemed to anticipate the controversy her remarks might generate. She also told the New York Times:

“A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.” Her face was red and her arms were waving. “As you can tell,” she said, “I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”

As expected, this did not go over smoothly with everyone. Writing on AmericaBlog Gay, John Aravosis wrote that Nixon “needs to learn how to choose her words better, because she just fell into a right-wing trap, willingly. When the religious right says it’s a choice, they mean you quite literally choose your sexual orientation, you can change it at will, and that’s bull.”

So, what’s the scientific evidence that sexual orientation is either a biologically determined trait or an actual choice?

A Spanish study published in 2009 in the journal Investigacion Clinica summarizes the evidence for genetic influences. Based on research comparing identical twins, fraternal twins and even siblings who were adopted, scientists have determined that 27% to 76% of the chance that one is gay is determined by DNA. The genetic influence appears to be greater for men than for women, according to the study.

Other stuff is probably happening in utero that influences one’s sexual orientation. As a review article published last year in the journal Endocrinology explains, exposure to atypical levels of testosterone and other steroids in the womb is probably responsible for some people being gay. Another review article, published last year in Frontiers in Neuroendocrinology, makes the same point:

“The evidence supports a role for prenatal testosterone exposure in the development of sex-typed interests in childhood, as well as in sexual orientation in later life, at least for some individuals. It appears, however, that other factors, in addition to hormones, play an important role in determining sexual orientation. These factors have not been well-characterized, but possibilities include direct genetic effects, and effects of maternal factors during pregnancy.”

One of those prenatal influences may be the number of males who have previously inhabited the mother’s uterus. It may sound strange, but Canadian researchers have found that “having one or more older brothers boosts the likelihood of a boy growing up to be gay,” as I explained in a 2006 Los Angeles Times story. As I wrote at the time, “The so-called fraternal birth order effect is small: Each older brother increases the chances by 33%. Assuming the base rate of homosexuality among men is 2%, it would take 11 older brothers to give the next son about a 50-50 chance of being gay.” Those findings were reported in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

In addition, my colleague Shari Roan wrote about a fascinating controversy surrounding treatment for a rare condition called congenital adrenal hyperplasia. The disorder can cause girls to be born with genitals that look male, making it hard to tell the baby’s gender. One treatment is to give women hormones during subsequent pregnancies to reduce the risk for siblings. But doctors have found that this approach has an unusual side effect:

“The treatment might reduce the likelihood that a female with the condition will be homosexual,” Roan wrote. “Further, it seems to increase the chances that she will have what are considered more feminine behavioral traits.”

This is all just the tip of the iceberg. But the scientific consensus seems to be that there is indeed a biological basis for homosexuality – though it’s not necessarily 100% determined by either genes or by environmental factors.

Copyright © 2012, Los Angeles Times


Good in bed: Your Guide to a Better Sex Life

I enjoy presenting websites I think will add to your knowledge of sexuality and help enhance your writing. The Good in bed mission statement is below. They also provide articles and links to various ebooks. I’m still in the process of writing my Ageless Sex Life ebook, hope to be published soon.

Sample of Advice from the Experts on their site:

Relationship Boredom, “meant to be” monogamous, Understanding Hypersexuality ( sex addiction)


The World Health Organization estimates that more than 100 million acts of sex occur every day.

Did you get yours? If so, how was it?

According to CNN, over 40 million Americans are stuck in a sex rut and more than 52 percent of Americans are dissatisfied with their sex lives.

At Good in Bed, we’re looking to change all that.

Our mission is to revolutionize the way the people learn about sex. We know that it isn’t easy to walk into a bookstore and buy a book about sex, much less read one on your lunch break. That’s why all of our Good in Bed Guides are “blush-free” and downloadable in an instant to your computer, smart phone or other digital device. They are private, printable and portable. And always up to date with the latest information.

All of our e-Guides are written by credentialed experts who are passionate about their subjects and respected in their fields. And because Good in Bed is a digital publisher, we can bring you their expertise at a fraction of the cost of a traditional paperback.

When it comes to your sex life, we know we can’t guarantee satisfaction. That part is up to you. But we can help. In addition to publishing our premium e‑Guides, we offer a library of free content and a respectful community in which individuals and experts can interact. Talking about sex isn’t easy, but, in the end, not talking about sex is even harder.

You only have one sex life, and we want to help you live it to the fullest.

Joel Osteen: What He Fails to Realize When He Calls Gay People Sinners

Important article regarding the influential Pastor Joel Olsteen, and his opinions concerning homosexuality. If one teens suicide can be traced back to his words, what will the courts declare? I do ponder this.

Nowhere in the bible is homosexuality considered a sin, this is purely Olsteen’s interpretation.

The following article was written by clinical sexologist and relationship therapist; founder, Center for Relationship and Sexual Health  Joe Kort, Ph.D.


Joel Osteen: What He Fails to Realize When He Calls Gay People Sinners

When Pastor Joel Olsteen tells Oprah and his congregation that “homosexuality is a sin,” I don’t think he is considering the impact those words have on the millions of gays and lesbians — especially the children and teenagers. The message isn’t saying, “You have committed a sin”; rather, it says, “You are a sin.” The gay or lesbian child and teenager listening to Olsteen believes that he or she is a sin.

When most children are told their bad behaviors are a sin, they can pray to God at bedtime to be forgiven and hope to be heard. Lesbian and gay children cannot pray because they are told that God sees who they are as a sin, so they don’t even have a God to talk to. This is brutally isolating for children and adolescents.

What Joel Olsteen doesn’t realize is that homosexuality is more than just a behavior; it is an identity — just like heterosexuality. Whereas acts can be sinful, saying homosexuality is a sin speaks to a person’s entire identity, not just what they do sexually. If I never had sex with another man, I’d still be gay, just as a heterosexual person who chose to be celibate would still be heterosexual.

While growing up, we are like gay and lesbian spies. We are hypervigilant, listening for every word and watching every move that is anti-gay. Because no one considers children to be gay, people say many homo-negative and hostile things about gays in their presence. In family therapy sessions, lesbian and gay clients have turned to their parents, telling them they were afraid to come out because they remembered hearing negativity about homosexuality from their parents. These parents are often horrified by how much it hurt their gay sons and daughters and shaped their fears about coming out.

I’m commonly asked, “How can you tell if a child or teenager is gay or lesbian?” I don’t have an answer for that, and I haven’t found much scientific literature that claims to, either. There are anecdotal writings from mothers and fathers who, looking back, recall signs that their children might be gay. One thing I do stress is that, as I mentioned earlier, every lesbian or gay adult was once a gay or lesbian child.

When people think about children, rarely do they think of them as being gay. But we have no problem thinking of children as heterosexual. As the popularity of Hummel figurines attests, we do think of children as romantic — holding hands, even kissing. We don’t sexualize grade-school crushes but justify them as healthy “practice” for future teenage dating and adult marriage. We often ask little girls if they have crushes on their male teachers, or a little boy if he has a girlfriend yet. As early as kindergarten, teachers have students send each other Valentine’s Day cards — albeit in a round-robin fashion. Later on, we tolerate little girls having crushes on other girls without labeling them lesbians. No one flinches if first- and second-grade boys hold hands.

The underlying assumption in all of these cases is that the child will grow up to be straight, and encouraging or allowing these childhood behaviors is considered acceptable because everyone recognizes that heterosexuality involves more than just adult sexual behavior — it also involves romance. Gayness, on the other hand, is typically seen as purely sexual behavior rather than as a multifaceted identity that involves affection, romance, and sex, just like heterosexuality. So if a child or adolescent does express romantic feelings toward someone of the same gender or actually embraces a gay identity, the immediate reaction is to sexualize him or her.

Growing up with messages that you are a sin is very traumatic. Children take very seriously what adults say to them — especially their parents, doctors, teachers, and ministers. Trying to belong by pretending to be straight and suppressing one’s core identity and sexuality can be one of the hardest things to do. Most gays and lesbians don’t do it very well and therefore are bullied and isolated and have no one to talk to. Even though gay-affirmative images can be found in the media more than ever before, children and teens are still living with a secret and don’t know whom they can turn to and who will turn away from them.

Developing gay or lesbian adolescents can handle their sexual orientation. What they can’t cope with is the negativity that comes their way regarding who they are, in the form of statements they encounter in the media or in their schools, homes, or communities. A heterosexual adolescent can no more handle acts of homophobia against him or her, either. We are seeing this first-hand with the suicides of bullied teenagers — both gay teens and those simply perceived as gay.

When listening to Joel Osteen repeat several times to Oprah that homosexuality is a sin, I feel a chill thinking about those gay and lesbian children and teens going to bed at night having no God to pray to, no one to turn to, and having to live with a secret.

I think Joel Olsteen should keep his judgments and opinions to himself about homosexuality. Putting out more negative energy in the world isn’t the purpose of a spiritual leader. His goal is to lead people to acceptance and understanding that we are all connected and all one. Anything less is just divisive and not helpful.

Follow Joe Kort, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/drjoekort