Graydancer Featured Presenter at The Erotic Literary Salon

Graydancer will be the featured presenter at the November 15th Salon. Gray will be reading an excerpt from his erotic piece “Ritual of Ashes,” and also running a “Rope Station” toward the end of the Salon. This will be your opportunity to get tied by a master or just watch a rope master in action.

Bibliography: “Graydancer, Ninja Sex Poodle & Ronin of Love, comes from the venerable rope bondage tradition of Madison, WI, where he honed his craft to become the world premiere podcaster of rope bondage with “the Ropecast”. He is the author of three novels including Nawashi (which climbed to #1 on the charts) as well as numerous short stories and essays. Graydancer’s writing has been published in several anthologies edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, Secret Magazine, Power Exchange Magazine, and most recently “Ropes, Bondage & Power” (edited by Lee Harrington).

A veteran of the stage, Graydancer serves as a feature performer and M.C. for Madison’s hottest burlesque company, Foxy Veronica’s Peach Pies, as well as regularly appearing at the Miramar Theatre as part of “Erotic Milwaukee.” He has also been featured as a reader of several fiction podcasts including Nobilis Erotica and Escape Pod. You can browse the images in the Graydancer Style gallery to see some of his work, and feel free to use them on your site provided you A) only use them to reference Graydancer’s work and B) Let him know where the image is being used.

Drawing upon a background in performance video and technology, Graydancer’s company satorimedia also professionally rigs, photographs, shoots, edits, and works as a web designer for several clients ranging from to Costume Cuties. You can also hear Graydancer as a guest on various other popular podcasts such as Polyamory Weekly and Dart’s Domain. Currently he plies his trade as an itinerant Rope Artist, Kink Educator and Sex-Positive Activist, smiting the evil of sloppy ends wherever they may lie. You can follow his general exploits at his Ropecast Twitter page, or simply email him at”

November 15 – Press Release – The Erotic Literary Salon, Featuring Graydancer

Philadelphia’s Erotic Literary Salon, Featuring- “Graydancer,” reading from “Ritual of Ashes,” & Offering a “Rope Station” to participants,  Along with Salon Erotic Readings from Attendees. Tuesday, November 15.

Contact: Susana Mayer, Ph.D., Salonnière
email: – reserve a time slot to read at Salon (5 min max) – blog of all things erotica, Salon notices, guidelines.

The Erotic Literary Salon will be held Tuesday, Nov. 15. Gray Miller, aka “Graydancer,” is an author, educator, and performer within the sex-positive community. Gray travels extensively speaking, performing, teaching, and facilitating his “GRUEs” – unique “Unconference”-style events.

Graydancer will be reading an excerpt from “Ritual of Ashes,” a piece that will be included in the upcoming cigar erotica anthology from Ravenous Romance. Based on true events, it combines two of his favorite subjects: cigar and rope. Afterwards Gray will be running a “Rope Station” where Salon participants are welcome to experience rope bondage techniques for themselves.

You can find out more about Gray’s other work at, and

PHILADELPHIA: The Erotic Literary Salon, unique in the English-speaking world has launched a growing movement mainstreaming erotica. Salons attract a supportive audience of 60 or more individuals. Approximately 20 participate as writers, readers, storytellers, spoken word performers of original works/words of others, the rest just come to listen, enjoy and applaud. Frances, our resident nonagenarian (94 years young) often recites her original erotica.

Salons gather the 3rd Tuesday of every month at TIME (The Bohemian Absinthe Lounge), 1315 Sansom Street, Center City, Philadelphia. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. (limited seating), for cocktails, food and conversation. The event begins promptly at 8:00 p.m. Admission is $10, discounted for readers, students, and seniors (65+) to $8. Salon attendees must be 21.

Creator of this event, Dr. Susana, is Philadelphia’s best-known sexologist. She lends her voice to the Salon by offering relevant information to support the discussions that arise in the Salon/blog.

“…surprisingly comfortable….Salon devotees praise her for the space she has created….”
“I think Susana is doing a very brave thing.”
Philadelphia Inquirer, February 10, 2010

“There are laughter and tears along with the hot rush of blood – to the face.
Daily News, March 15, 2010

Increased Responsibility Could Lead to Decreased Sexual Activity Among Women

“Newswise — In Sub-Saharan Africa, women who are empowered to make household decisions tend to have sex less often. This is according to a study conducted by researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. They examined the relationships between married women’s autonomy and the time since most recent sexual intercourse and found that women’s position in their household may influence sexual activity. The full article will be published in the October issue of the Journal of Sex Research and is currently featured online as an “editor’s choice.” (I own the copy of the Nov-Dec issue of this journal, where the study “Women’s Autonomy and Timing of Most Recent Sexual Intercourse in Sub-Saharan Africa: A MultiCountry Analysis” was published. If you are interested in having a copy you can contact me.

“A very consistent pattern was observed across all six countries we surveyed—as the number of decisions in which a women had the final say increased, the mean and median time since most recent sex also increased by three- to 100-fold,” said Michelle Hindin, PhD, MHS, lead author of the study and an associate professor at the Bloomberg School’s Department of Population, Family and Reproductive Health. “The more decisions a woman reported making on her own, as compared to joint decision making, the less likely she was to have sex and the longer it was since she last had sexual intercourse.”

Researchers analyzed nationally representative data from the Demographic and Health Surveys in Ghana, Malawi, Mali, Rwanda, Uganda, and Zimbabwe that asked survey participants to indicate the day, week, month and year they last had sexual intercourse. Survey participants were also asked to indicate the person in the household who typically had the final say on the following decisions: respondent’s health care, large household purchases, household purchases for daily needs and the respondent visiting family and friends. Researchers also examined socio-demographic and relationship factors such as age, wealth, parity, husband’s residence, and marital duration and found that most standard socio-demographic variables were not consistently associated with the timing of most recent sexual intercourse.

The majority of women participating in the survey reported sexual intercourse within the last month. Patterns of decision-making power varied by country, with husbands having the final say on more decisions in Malawi and Mali more than in other countries. Ghanaian and Rwandan women reported having the final say in more decisions than women in the other countries, whereas Zimbabwean women reported the most joint decision making. For men, making autonomous decisions was not related to the timing of most recent sex.

“Understanding how women’s position in the household influences their sexual activity may be an essential piece in protecting the sexual rights of women and helping them to achieve a sexual life that is both safe and pleasurable,” said Carie Muntifering, co-author of the study and student at the Bloomberg School. “The findings from this analysis contribute to our understanding of the frequency of sexual activity in sub-Saharan Africa and its relationship to household decision making. Additional studies are needed to further explore the strong association between women’s decision-making power and recent sexual activity that was found in our analyses.”

Released: 9/21/2011 10:50 AM EDT
Source: Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health

Do We Need to Protect Our Kids from Seeing Vibrators at the Drugstore?

Wonderful article on vibrators being sold on drugstore websites.

Do We Need to Protect Our Kids from Seeing Vibrators at the Drugstore?

“If your activist side needs a  break from the Occupy Wall Street protests, you might want to wander over to a site called One Million Moms where someone is trying to start a write-in campaign to have vibrators removed from drugstore websites because kids might stumble upon them.

I’m not encouraging you to join, I’m asking you to counter-protest this silly notion. First of all, drugstores have been selling vibrators for decades, as I know first hand because I bought one in 1978 at the age of 17 in a drugstore (it looked like this), so the idea that the mainstream stores are getting more X-rated is bunk. Secondly, what the heck are we afraid of if a kid stumbles upon a vibrator on a website? That it will lead to some expected curiosity (“mom, what’s that?”) and we might actually have to explain a little sexual anatomy to them? That sounds like a good thing to me.  I ran across a survey recently that revealed that women who masturbate have higher self-esteem than those who don’t. So the worst thing that  might happen if little Susie sees a Trojan Triphoria on Duane Reade is that she’ll a) want to learn about her body b) will want one and find a way to get one and c) will discover the joys of masturbation and ultimately end up with good self-esteem. Oprah had a respected psychologist on her show a year or so ago who courageously suggested that parents get their daughters vibrators so that they could learn about their bodies and feel more empowered to make good choices when it comes to partner sex.

I think I speak for countless girls and young women who were not happy to be kept in the dark about their sexuality. It was my own discovery of said drugstore vibrator that taught me what an orgasm felt like and what my clitoris was. I experienced that bliss with no shame and a healthy sense of adventure, but if I hadn’t discovered that till I was older I’d have felt robbed.  So moms, don’t think you’re doing your kids any favors by pretending like they aren’t aren’t curious. They won’t magically mature into sexually-healthy, knowledgeable adults if you don’t put any effort into helping them understand what’s happening to their bodies. You don’t have to wait till they stumble on a sex toy on the internet, you can get them a good book or point them to a helpful age-appropriate website.

And finally, the folks at One Million Moms don’t have anything to say about the fact that you can find condoms everywhere–in drugstore, gas stations, bathrooms–which of course I think is a wonderful thing. But if you’re going to complain about kids seeing vibrators, why draw the line in the sand there? If it’s because there is “medical need” for a condom, consider that most women can’t come without intense stimulation of the clitoris (in fact it was just that “medical need” that led to the vibrator’s invention as you’ll learn from our Vintage Vibrator Museum site!). Viva La Vibrador!”