Good in bed: Your Guide to a Better Sex Life

I enjoy presenting websites I think will add to your knowledge of sexuality and help enhance your writing. The Good in bed mission statement is below. They also provide articles and links to various ebooks. I’m still in the process of writing my Ageless Sex Life ebook, hope to be published soon.

Sample of Advice from the Experts on their site:

Relationship Boredom, “meant to be” monogamous, Understanding Hypersexuality ( sex addiction)

Mission

The World Health Organization estimates that more than 100 million acts of sex occur every day.

Did you get yours? If so, how was it?

According to CNN, over 40 million Americans are stuck in a sex rut and more than 52 percent of Americans are dissatisfied with their sex lives.

At Good in Bed, we’re looking to change all that.

Our mission is to revolutionize the way the people learn about sex. We know that it isn’t easy to walk into a bookstore and buy a book about sex, much less read one on your lunch break. That’s why all of our Good in Bed Guides are “blush-free” and downloadable in an instant to your computer, smart phone or other digital device. They are private, printable and portable. And always up to date with the latest information.

All of our e-Guides are written by credentialed experts who are passionate about their subjects and respected in their fields. And because Good in Bed is a digital publisher, we can bring you their expertise at a fraction of the cost of a traditional paperback.

When it comes to your sex life, we know we can’t guarantee satisfaction. That part is up to you. But we can help. In addition to publishing our premium e‑Guides, we offer a library of free content and a respectful community in which individuals and experts can interact. Talking about sex isn’t easy, but, in the end, not talking about sex is even harder.

You only have one sex life, and we want to help you live it to the fullest.

Joel Osteen: What He Fails to Realize When He Calls Gay People Sinners

Important article regarding the influential Pastor Joel Olsteen, and his opinions concerning homosexuality. If one teens suicide can be traced back to his words, what will the courts declare? I do ponder this.

Nowhere in the bible is homosexuality considered a sin, this is purely Olsteen’s interpretation.

The following article was written by clinical sexologist and relationship therapist; founder, Center for Relationship and Sexual Health  Joe Kort, Ph.D.

 

Joel Osteen: What He Fails to Realize When He Calls Gay People Sinners

When Pastor Joel Olsteen tells Oprah and his congregation that “homosexuality is a sin,” I don’t think he is considering the impact those words have on the millions of gays and lesbians — especially the children and teenagers. The message isn’t saying, “You have committed a sin”; rather, it says, “You are a sin.” The gay or lesbian child and teenager listening to Olsteen believes that he or she is a sin.

When most children are told their bad behaviors are a sin, they can pray to God at bedtime to be forgiven and hope to be heard. Lesbian and gay children cannot pray because they are told that God sees who they are as a sin, so they don’t even have a God to talk to. This is brutally isolating for children and adolescents.

What Joel Olsteen doesn’t realize is that homosexuality is more than just a behavior; it is an identity — just like heterosexuality. Whereas acts can be sinful, saying homosexuality is a sin speaks to a person’s entire identity, not just what they do sexually. If I never had sex with another man, I’d still be gay, just as a heterosexual person who chose to be celibate would still be heterosexual.

While growing up, we are like gay and lesbian spies. We are hypervigilant, listening for every word and watching every move that is anti-gay. Because no one considers children to be gay, people say many homo-negative and hostile things about gays in their presence. In family therapy sessions, lesbian and gay clients have turned to their parents, telling them they were afraid to come out because they remembered hearing negativity about homosexuality from their parents. These parents are often horrified by how much it hurt their gay sons and daughters and shaped their fears about coming out.

I’m commonly asked, “How can you tell if a child or teenager is gay or lesbian?” I don’t have an answer for that, and I haven’t found much scientific literature that claims to, either. There are anecdotal writings from mothers and fathers who, looking back, recall signs that their children might be gay. One thing I do stress is that, as I mentioned earlier, every lesbian or gay adult was once a gay or lesbian child.

When people think about children, rarely do they think of them as being gay. But we have no problem thinking of children as heterosexual. As the popularity of Hummel figurines attests, we do think of children as romantic — holding hands, even kissing. We don’t sexualize grade-school crushes but justify them as healthy “practice” for future teenage dating and adult marriage. We often ask little girls if they have crushes on their male teachers, or a little boy if he has a girlfriend yet. As early as kindergarten, teachers have students send each other Valentine’s Day cards — albeit in a round-robin fashion. Later on, we tolerate little girls having crushes on other girls without labeling them lesbians. No one flinches if first- and second-grade boys hold hands.

The underlying assumption in all of these cases is that the child will grow up to be straight, and encouraging or allowing these childhood behaviors is considered acceptable because everyone recognizes that heterosexuality involves more than just adult sexual behavior — it also involves romance. Gayness, on the other hand, is typically seen as purely sexual behavior rather than as a multifaceted identity that involves affection, romance, and sex, just like heterosexuality. So if a child or adolescent does express romantic feelings toward someone of the same gender or actually embraces a gay identity, the immediate reaction is to sexualize him or her.

Growing up with messages that you are a sin is very traumatic. Children take very seriously what adults say to them — especially their parents, doctors, teachers, and ministers. Trying to belong by pretending to be straight and suppressing one’s core identity and sexuality can be one of the hardest things to do. Most gays and lesbians don’t do it very well and therefore are bullied and isolated and have no one to talk to. Even though gay-affirmative images can be found in the media more than ever before, children and teens are still living with a secret and don’t know whom they can turn to and who will turn away from them.

Developing gay or lesbian adolescents can handle their sexual orientation. What they can’t cope with is the negativity that comes their way regarding who they are, in the form of statements they encounter in the media or in their schools, homes, or communities. A heterosexual adolescent can no more handle acts of homophobia against him or her, either. We are seeing this first-hand with the suicides of bullied teenagers — both gay teens and those simply perceived as gay.

When listening to Joel Osteen repeat several times to Oprah that homosexuality is a sin, I feel a chill thinking about those gay and lesbian children and teens going to bed at night having no God to pray to, no one to turn to, and having to live with a secret.

I think Joel Olsteen should keep his judgments and opinions to himself about homosexuality. Putting out more negative energy in the world isn’t the purpose of a spiritual leader. His goal is to lead people to acceptance and understanding that we are all connected and all one. Anything less is just divisive and not helpful.

Follow Joe Kort, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/drjoekort

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/joel-osteen-gay_b_1217447.html

The Gingrich Question: Cheating vs. Open Marriage – Voters Accept Adultery, but not Honesty

Behind all these statements is the unspoken white elephant in the room – jealousy. We are led to believe jealousy is a natural human emotion, it is not. I saw a documentary several years ago about a tribe (believe located on a south Pacific island) where the wives were free to take other lovers. Jealousy never entered the lives of these people, until outsiders appeared and introduced their marriage standards. If anyone knows the name of the documentary or tribe I am referring to, please post a comment with the information.

I like Dan Savage’s comments on Gingrich’s response to his former wife’s accusations.

Voters Accept Adultery, but Not Honesty

Dan Savage

January 20, 2012

My favorite moment in Thursday night’s G.O.P. debate: Newt Gingrich angrily denying his second ex-wife’s account of the end of their marriage — “Let me be quite clear: The story is false!” — and the socially conservative South Carolinians in the hall rewarding the former speaker of the House with sustained applause.

Marianne Gingrich’s accusation shows that an honest open relationship is more scandalous than a dishonest adulterous relationship.

Let me be quite clear: Newt Gingrich wasn’t denying that he had a six-year-long adulterous relationship with a Congressional staffer, a woman 20 years his junior, an affair that he conducted while overseeing the impeachment of Bill Clinton after his affair with a White House intern. Gingrich’s affair with a Congressional staffer is a long-acknowledged fact. That former Congressional staffer was sitting in the audience last night: her name is Callista, she’s the third Mrs. Gingrich, and she is — according to every profile written about her — a “devout Catholic.” (I was raised by devout Catholics. Devout Catholics are friends of mine. Devout Catholics do not have adulterous relationships with married men. Just sayin’.)

All Gingrich was denying with that “false!” was the allegation that he had asked his second ex-wife for an open marriage.

Newt Gingrich wants us to know that he did not ask his second ex-wife for an open marriage. An honest open relationship was never on the table. Newt and Callista’s six-year-long adulterous relationship was grounded in deceit and betrayal from the start, and Newt and Callista never wavered from the path of deceit and betrayal. Newt Gingrich was making an implicit promise to socially conservative voters: He did not ask his most recent ex-wife for an open marriage, and he will not ask any of his future ex-wives for an open marriage.

The lesson in Gingrich’s angry denial and the applause that greeted it: An honest open relationship is more scandalous, and more politically damaging, than a dishonest adulterous relationship. An honest, mutually consensual nonmonogamous marriage — which is not what Newt was proposing (you can’t negotiate an honest open marriage with your spouse six years into an affair) — is newer and somehow more threatening than the “traditional” cheating Gingrich engaged in.

It’s difficult to put a figure on the exact number of couples who have honest open marriages. Very few couples who aren’t monogamous are “out” about it. They appear to be monogamous, they work at maintaining that appearance, and they would rather have their families, friends, neighbors and co-workers believe something that isn’t true than have to answer intrusive questions or deal with value judgments. They’re what sex researchers call “socially monogamous.”

Most of the people who’ve negotiated open marriage arrangements with their spouses realized, at some point in their lives (often after a failed marriage or two), that they simply weren’t capable of being monogamous. Rather than continuing to make and violate monogamous commitments, they opted to level with themselves and their (sometimes new) spouses. Some of these couples are swingers; some are polyamorous; but most are what I like to call “monogamish”: a relationship that’s almost entirely monogamous.

Nonmonogamy — or monogamishamy — certainly isn’t for everyone. But it’s a better solution for those who are incapable of monogamous behavior, and a less socially harmful one, than an endless cycle of marriage, betrayal, divorce and remarriage. At Thursday night’s debate, Gingrich told us that’s he’s the kind of person who thinks “grandiose thoughts.” Imagine the grief that Gingrich could’ve spared himself and his ex-wives if he had given some thought, grandiose or not, to honest nonmonogamy.

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/01/20/the-gingrich-question-cheating-vs-open-marriage/voters-prefer-newt-gingrichs-adultery-to-open-marriage

“Naked at our Age” Joan Price – Call for Submissions New Senior Erotica Anthology

Joan Price is collecting stories for a most unusual anthology. I have mentioned this submission in the past, just a reminder since her February 1sts deadline is nearing.

Another reminder – the Erotic Literary Salon’s unusual sensexual anthology deadline is Valentine’s Day. Submission guideline link on the navigation bar top of site.

Senior Erotica Anthology: Call for Submissions

Joan Price is seeking erotic stories and memoir essays of high literary quality from writers over age 50, featuring steamy characters also over age 50, for a senior erotica anthology to be published Spring 2013 by Seal Press.

Will this be your typical erotica anthology with a few wrinkles?
No, the truth is that we seniors don’t respond to the sopping-wet panties and rock-hard erections that are the hallmark of traditional, youth-oriented erotica. Instead, we want erotica that we can relate to, that encompasses the changes and adaptations of age, that acknowledges how we like to be stimulated. Age is accepted, celebrated, and sensually enjoyed.
Characters may be having spicy sex with partners they love and have loved for decades; or with new loves or casual encounters; or solo with hands, vibrators, memories, and fantasies.  Although I admit my bias towards erotica that is tender and loving, I’m also looking for edgy and kinky stories for a balanced collection.
Seal Press and I will choose submissions of high literary quality, not just good, explicit sex scenes. Arouse us with a sexy, well-crafted plot we haven’t read before, characters who entice us and feel real to us, language that describes sex in a new way. I welcome diversity of all kinds, including race, ethnic background, gender identification, sexual orientation, disability, and every other kind of diversity.
Word length: 1,500-3,000 words, previously unpublished preferred.
Payment: $100 on acceptance and 2 copies of the book on publication.
Submission deadline: February 1, 2012 (earlier submissions preferred). Please submit Word document, double-spaced, Times or Times New Roman font. Authors may submit up to 2 contributions.
Before you submit (right now would be good!), please email me at SeniorErotica@gmail.com with the header “senior erotica submission” and include your 75-100-word author bio written in the third person and complete contact information: legal name, pseudonym if applicable, mailing address, email address, and phone. Please include your age, also (which won’t be public unless you want it to be). I’ll put you in my database of potential contributors and update you as the project progresses.
Please feel free to copy and forward.
Thank you!
Joan Price

Updates — please read:

9/22/11 update: I’m receiving submissions already — thank you!  I’d prefer the sex scenes to take place at the characters’ current age (over 50, 60, 70…). A story or two with flashbacks to younger years is fine, but I’m getting too many youthful flashbacks and too few current-age erotic scenes. What makes a story sexy and arousing at our age? That’s your challenge!

10/4/11: Please read this new post updating what I’m seeking — even if you already submitted your story.

11/1/11: I know it’s tempting to write about older characters having sex with impossibly attractive, young partners, and yes, it’s ok if you’ve written a truly fabulous story in that vein — but I’d love to see more stories about older characters who are wildly attracted to each other and have amazing sex together. Let’s show our youth-oriented culture (and ourselves!) that we’re sexy at this age, too.

11/13/11: I’m pedaling away on my Fitdesk, rereading the 30 erotica submissions I’ve received already. It’s too early to officially accept any contributions, but I can’t resist sharing with you that I absolutely love five of these stories. The ones that work incorporate seamlessly and unapologetically the realities of making love as an older person, whether it’s the man taking a pill or the woman applying lubricant or one of them placing a pillow under creaky knees before giving oral sex. Meanwhile, the focus is on the gradual building of the erotic details, as the author brings the sex scene to life and invites the reader to join the characters’ arousal. “How the heck do I accomplish that?” you may ask. Only really good writers manage it, those who are our age and can describe what great sex feels like now. Looking forward to seeing your submission!

11/18/11: I’ve received contact information & bios from 51 writers, inquiries from about 20 more, submissions from 30. Clearly this is an idea whose time has come! If you are interested in submitting, please send the contact info/bio ahead so you’re in my database. We have plenty of time before submissions are due, but don’t wait if yours is ready.

11/20/11: It’s a fine balance between erotically arousing and realistic older sex, isn’t it? A few writers are doing that brilliantly–but many get stuck in gloom or reverie rather than bringing to life the exuberance of senior/elder sex. Some have so much story going on that the actual erotic part is bare; others are just writing the sex scene, without a story. Again, it’s a fine balance, and it takes a skillful writer to make it work.

http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/2011/09/senior-erotica-anthology-call-for.html