The Erotic Literary Salon

Writing about Sex Addiction

admin — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:11:06 +0000

I think it is important as writers of this genre to be informed about various topics that may impact their writing. Specifically because sex addiction has been in the news recently, I thought the following an important article.

AlterNet

Too Much Sex? No Such Thing — Why Sex Addiction Is Total B.S.

By Raymond J. Lawrence, CounterPunch

Posted on March 6, 2010, Printed on March 10, 2010

http://www.alternet.org/story/145922/

American befuddlement over matters of sex is on the increase, in spite of the fact that one can hardly imagine the subject becoming more befuddling to the people of this country than it already is.

Sex addiction is the latest star in America’s sexual burlesque. Sex addiction has of course been a malaprop from its first usage. Addiction was originally and properly defined as a physiological dependence on a substance to which the body had grown accustomed, such as alcohol, nicotine, heroin and various other drugs. The cure was to end the dependency and abstain from further use of the substance in order to avoid a recurrence of the physiological dependency. These treatments do work and many people have been cured of their addictions and never returned to the addictive substance.

Applying such a metaphor to sexual pleasure creates a misleading and ominous innuendo. Sex is not an addictive substance. It’s a human interaction on which the survival of the species is dependent. It is also possibly the most pleasurable and sought after activity known to humankind, and arguably an experience no one should be deprived of. Most normal people consider more rather than less sexual pleasure to be a major objective in life.

Following the substance abuse mode implies that the only cure for an addiction to sexual pleasure would be a celibate or monastic life, a complete renunciation of the alleged addictive sexual pleasure.

The very idea of sexual pleasure as a harmful addiction plays precisely into the hands of one of the most perverse aspects of Western religious history, namely the teaching that sex is a work of the devil redeemed only by the act of procreation itself. Reliance on the notion of sex addiction in counseling and psychiatric treatment is ominous.

Christianity as a world religion has much to commend it on balance. Nevertheless, its posture toward sexual pleasure has been abysmal. In that respect it should be noted that Christianity, of all the major world religions, is the only one to cast sexual pleasure in such a negative light. Never mind that Christianity’s distaff side – Protestants and others – challenged such negativity toward sexual pleasure. They were eventually and unfortunately drowned out in the debate. It is no coincidence that currently the most Christian of nations, the U.S., is also the most negative toward sexual pleasure. (And at the same time the most confused sexually.) Europe as gone blessedly post-Christian.

We must suspect that the sex addiction proponents unconsciously wish to rebuild something like the medieval Christian social order where virtually every cultured and literate person was bereft of sexual pleasure for life, save for sexual pleasure in the service of procreation

Some psychiatrists are now getting into the fray, offering treatment for sex addiction. However, the Bible of psychiatry, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), is currently being prepared for its 5th edition, and is wisely declining to introduce sex addiction to its manual. It does, however, come close by introducing the category of hypersexuality as a mental disorder. This neologism is the editors’ own special, and arguably less troublesome, substitute for sex addiction. But as the saying goes, it walks like the proverbial sex addiction duck.

The pundits are now weighing in on the new DSM 5. Allan Frances in The Los Angeles Times is worried that philanderers and rapists will now be able to claim mental illness as a defense of their anti-social behavior and thereby escape punishment. George Will in The Washington Post astutely raises the problem of medicalizing the assessment of character, which he unaccountably blames on liberals. I thought I was a liberal, but I’m as concerned as Will about defining character or the lack thereof as a burden of psychiatric diagnosticians. And by extension, character as an expected outcome of proper medication.

So now according to the working version of the new DSM-5, psychiatrists will be able to assess whether one is having too much sex, or even whether one simply wants too much sex. Or too little. They will presumably have some kind of measuring rod to determine what is too much or too little.

This new project, of assessing who might be wanting or getting too much sexual pleasure, or too little, should create many more jobs for psychiatrists. We’ve been needing something to improve the job market. Maybe this will do it. Perhaps psychiatry will now join hands with the worst elements of Christianity and recreate the medieval Christian dream, a world where the only sexual pleasure allowable is that accidentally associated with the desire to procreate.

Raymond J. Lawrence is an Episcopal cleric, recently retired Director of Pastoral Care, New York Presbyterian Hospital, and author of numerous opinion pieces in newspapers in the U.S., and author of the recently published, Sexual Liberation: The Scandal of Christendom (Praeger). He can be reached at: raymondlawrence@mac.com

View this story online at: http://www.alternet.org/story/145922/

AlterNetToo Much Sex? No Such Thing — Why Sex Addiction Is Total B.S.By Raymond J. Lawrence, CounterPunchPosted on March 6, 2010, Printed on March 10, 2010http://www.alternet.org/story/145922/
American befuddlement over matters of sex is on the increase, in spite of the fact that one can hardly imagine the subject becoming more befuddling to the people of this country than it already is.
Sex addiction is the latest star in America’s sexual burlesque. Sex addiction has of course been a malaprop from its first usage. Addiction was originally and properly defined as a physiological dependence on a substance to which the body had grown accustomed, such as alcohol, nicotine, heroin and various other drugs. The cure was to end the dependency and abstain from further use of the substance in order to avoid a recurrence of the physiological dependency. These treatments do work and many people have been cured of their addictions and never returned to the addictive substance.
Applying such a metaphor to sexual pleasure creates a misleading and ominous innuendo. Sex is not an addictive substance. It’s a human interaction on which the survival of the species is dependent. It is also possibly the most pleasurable and sought after activity known to humankind, and arguably an experience no one should be deprived of. Most normal people consider more rather than less sexual pleasure to be a major objective in life.
Following the substance abuse mode implies that the only cure for an addiction to sexual pleasure would be a celibate or monastic life, a complete renunciation of the alleged addictive sexual pleasure.
The very idea of sexual pleasure as a harmful addiction plays precisely into the hands of one of the most perverse aspects of Western religious history, namely the teaching that sex is a work of the devil redeemed only by the act of procreation itself. Reliance on the notion of sex addiction in counseling and psychiatric treatment is ominous.
Christianity as a world religion has much to commend it on balance. Nevertheless, its posture toward sexual pleasure has been abysmal. In that respect it should be noted that Christianity, of all the major world religions, is the only one to cast sexual pleasure in such a negative light. Never mind that Christianity’s distaff side – Protestants and others – challenged such negativity toward sexual pleasure. They were eventually and unfortunately drowned out in the debate. It is no coincidence that currently the most Christian of nations, the U.S., is also the most negative toward sexual pleasure. (And at the same time the most confused sexually.) Europe as gone blessedly post-Christian.
We must suspect that the sex addiction proponents unconsciously wish to rebuild something like the medieval Christian social order where virtually every cultured and literate person was bereft of sexual pleasure for life, save for sexual pleasure in the service of procreation
Some psychiatrists are now getting into the fray, offering treatment for sex addiction. However, the Bible of psychiatry, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), is currently being prepared for its 5th edition, and is wisely declining to introduce sex addiction to its manual. It does, however, come close by introducing the category of hypersexuality as a mental disorder. This neologism is the editors’ own special, and arguably less troublesome, substitute for sex addiction. But as the saying goes, it walks like the proverbial sex addiction duck.
The pundits are now weighing in on the new DSM 5. Allan Frances in The Los Angeles Times is worried that philanderers and rapists will now be able to claim mental illness as a defense of their anti-social behavior and thereby escape punishment. George Will in The Washington Post astutely raises the problem of medicalizing the assessment of character, which he unaccountably blames on liberals. I thought I was a liberal, but I’m as concerned as Will about defining character or the lack thereof as a burden of psychiatric diagnosticians. And by extension, character as an expected outcome of proper medication.
So now according to the working version of the new DSM-5, psychiatrists will be able to assess whether one is having too much sex, or even whether one simply wants too much sex. Or too little. They will presumably have some kind of measuring rod to determine what is too much or too little.
This new project, of assessing who might be wanting or getting too much sexual pleasure, or too little, should create many more jobs for psychiatrists. We’ve been needing something to improve the job market. Maybe this will do it. Perhaps psychiatry will now join hands with the worst elements of Christianity and recreate the medieval Christian dream, a world where the only sexual pleasure allowable is that accidentally associated with the desire to procreate.

Reminder: The Erotic Literary Salon, March 16, one week from today

admin — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:30:34 +0000

Reminder: Violet Glaze will be our next featured reader. There are still a few openings if you wish to present your work, or those of others at the Salon. Follow the guidelines at the toolbar on the top of the site.

Philadelphia’s Erotic Literary Salon, Unique in the English-Speaking World, Featuring Retro Erotica From Author Violet Glaze – Along with New Salon Erotic Readings from Attendees. Tuesday, March 16^th.

Monday, February 22, 2010

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Susana Mayer, Ph.D., Salonnière 215-840-5830 email: contact@TheEroticSalon.com

www.TheEroticLiterarySalon.com – daily blog of all things erotica, Salon notices, guidelines. http://theeroticsalon.com/guidelines/ - reserve a time slot to read at Salon (5 min max)

www.SusanaMayer.com – professional daily blog

PHILADELPHIA: The Erotic Literary Salon, unique in the English-speaking world has launched a growing movement mainstreaming erotica. Salons attract a supportive audience of 40 or more individuals. Approximately half participate as writers, readers, storytellers, spoken word performers of original works/words of others, the rest just come to listen, enjoy and applaud. Lily, our resident nonagenarian (93 years young) often recites her original erotica.

The next Salon will be held Tuesday, March 16th. Part of the evening will feature upcoming erotic fiction author Violet Glaze. She will be reading a passage from her newest novel Will Success Spoil Pace Hammond?. A martini-drenched crawl through the glittery underbelly of gay Hollywood, circa 1957. Her first book Hotel Butterfly, an erotic novel of enchanted Japan, was described as “Like Spirited Away, only for adults” by eroticist Katrina Strauss. You can read more of her short fiction, graphic novels, film criticism and arts journalism at www.violetglaze.com.

Salons gather the 3rd Tuesday of every month at TIME (The Bohemian Absinthe Lounge), 1315 Sansom Street, Center City, Philadelphia. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. (limited seating), for cocktails, food and conversation. The event begins promptly at 8:00 p.m. Admission is $10, discounted for F/T students and seniors (65+) to $8. Salon attendees must be 21.

Creator of this event, Dr. Susana is Philadelphia’s best-known sexologist. She lends her voice to the Salon by offering relevant information to support the discussions that arise in the Salon/blog.

Anonymous responses from participants who were asked what they liked most about the event:

Safe space for all sorts of different types (of erotica)

Openness, support and warmth of audience

Freedom of expression, the acceptance, the humor, comfort level

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Chlamydia Dell’Arte: A Sex-Ed Burlesque

admin — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:52:31 +0000

March 9 – 13 performances at the Adrienne Theater, 2030 Sansom St. 215-563-4330. I have seen the performance at the Fringe, it was great. I plan on attending once again on Tuesday, March 9, 7PM, come join me.

Erotica – Frantic Lesbian has a Bizarre Fetish

admin — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 17:14:32 +0000

This wonder piece on Lesbian erotica was written by a male and read at the last Salon. Towards the end of the Salon we had an open forum discussing writing from a different sexual perspective. Violet Glaze had also read works she had written on homoerotica.

Frantic Lesbian has a Bizarre Fetish

By Walter J.F.

If I tell you what turns me on, what I brood over and masturbate to nightly, and you don’t freak out, I will be the happiest woman alive.

But if I tell you my fetish and you grab my ass and slam my crotch against yours and stare down at me and slow your breathing and rock your hips back and forth like that chick in that one music video you’re obsessed with, and I can feel you’re just as wet thinking about my fantasy as I am, then I swear I’ll wake you up every Saturday morning with my head between your thighs till you’re old and flabby and gross, and I’ll compose a full-orchestra prog-rock album dedicated to your babeness — Yeah, I know I can’t write music, but I’ll learn. Did you know I played French horn in marching band? And they say that’s one of the most difficult instruments to learn, which is probably true, because I was terrible. But you know what I’m not terrible at? Coping with my timidity.

Do you know how many strange things I’ve shoved in my pussy? A lot. I’m a 28-year-old lesbian, and I don’t even own a dildo. I finger fucked you in the back of the theater at “Finding Nemo,” and yet I can’t go into a sex shop and admit to the person who works there that I like sex. My palms get sweaty, my heart races, and the anticipation of buying something naughty knocks me in the chest and I get horny with adrenaline.

I wuss out and go home and furiously jack off to thoughts of you.

Want a tangible example of the long-term damage of a prudish upbringing? How about waiting in the parking lot across from Vikki’s Passion Hut, too nervous to go in, heart racing, and — oh no, there’s that adrenaline again — So, yeah, I wussed out again and fucked the gearstick right there in the shadows then floored it to your place, rubbing my thighs together, pumping the bass in my speakers full blast, hoping the tremors rumbling through the seat would bring me halfway to cumming by the time I charged into your apartment, tore off your clothes, and tackled you onto the bed, and — Christ, why couldn’t I have been raised Hindu? They’re taught to be prudes too, but at least when they do fuck they do it right. I don’t know, maybe if I’m good enough I’ll be reincarnated as a Hindu or… Wait a minute — No, never mind. Anyway, do you see what I’m saying? You bring this out of me, you make me feel OK for being horny, and that’s the happiest I’ve ever been.

So please, work with me, baby.

Erotica vs. Pornography

admin — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 17:45:01 +0000

The never ending question. How do you define erotica and pornography? Send me your thoughts, your definition.

Hot Erotica – U.K. Author Lucy Felthouse – The Great Outdoors

admin — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 18:23:03 +0000

The following is a read-bite (Did I just coin this word? Is there an equivalent to sound-bite for words in print other than excerpt?) from Lucy Felthouses’ book The Great Outdoors.

Lucy sent me the following email. “…excerpt of one of my stories, called ‘Fun in the Forest.’ It’s part of a two-story mini-book called ‘The Great Outdoors’ which I’ve published on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0038HEPAS ”

Lucy Felthouse

Freelance Writer

Website: http://www.lucyfelthouse.co.uk

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/cw1985

Facebook: http://fb.me/lucyfelthousewriter

Perhaps Lucy will one day be a featured presenter at the Salon, when she decides to visit our continent.

Modesty, Anna thought, what’s that? Taking another couple of sips of the drink to give her some Dutch courage, she bent down to untie her bootlaces. Kicking off one boot, then the other, Anna got to work on her jacket. Luckily, the zip was much less fiddly than her laces had been.

Seconds later she was down to her underwear, which thankfully wasn’t too horrendous. It wasn’t her best, admittedly, as she hadn’t expected any action on the trip, but it was OK. Just a plain black bra and pants. Greg didn’t appear to mind that it wasn’t Agent Provocateur, judging by the growing bulge in the front of his trousers.

Reaching for the drink once more, Anna took a couple of gulps of the still-scalding drink, then kept a little in her mouth. She sauntered over to Greg, who was still seated and looked a little shell-shocked. The women round here obviously aren’t this forward, she thought. She stroked his erection through his trousers, then set about undoing his fly. She began tugging and motioned for him to lift his bottom so she could remove the trousers properly. He did so and they slid down to his ankles, revealing that Greg had chosen to go commando that morning.

America’s Sexuality Day – The Congressional Resolution for Sex

admin — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:14:03 +0000

I missed it, so sorry. My brain was off by a day, not an unusual occurrence.

This is an important document that is asking for online editing. If you enjoy erotica please read.

http://www.sexdayusa.com/comstockeryblog/campaign/the-congressional-resolution-for-sex/

Monica Day – Workshops – Writing The Sensual Life & The Body Speaks – Discount

admin — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 17:41:56 +0000

Monica Day a reader and past featured presenter at the Salon has offered attendees discounted admission to her workshops (sign-up as student to receive discount). Information regarding these workshops can be found at the following sites:

http://www.thesensuallife.com/courses/the-body-speaks-finding-your-authentic-sensual-voice/

http://www.thesensuallife.com/courses/writing-the-sensual-life/

I’m certain these workshops will be a great way for wannabe writers and even professionals to hone their skills

Scientific America: Facts about the uniqueness of human pubic hair

admin — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:53:37 +0000

For the writers of erotica it is always interesting to have information concerning recent trends and anthropological perspective on parts of the body – understanding function and fashion. This article published in Scientific America is on the new focus towards pubic hair, or desire to rid oneself of it.

http://tinyurl.com/ygjlgwk

Phillips de Pury & Company, Sex Auction

admin — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 11:57:03 +0000

At the Erotic Literary Salon we hear stories that are erotic and also sexual stories. The photos of the art work that will be auctioned this month in England, may spark your creative mind to write some interesting words of lust and longing.

http://tinyurl.com/create.php