Tonight, the Erotic Literary Salon will see sparks flying, or should I say hear them. Come hear Frances (95 years young) defend her reputation against John’s (old enough to be her son, no grandson) accusations of seduction. It should be one hilarious start to an evening of shared erotica.
The following article explores the psychology behind power play.
Excerpts from, “Why Are Submissive Fantasies a Turn-On?”
“After making decisions all day, sometimes I don’t want to have to make any more decisions at the end of the day. I don’t mind being led in the bedroom,” says one marketing analyst and mother, who read the novel.
This leads to three surprising findings about women’s submission fantasies, the first from a 2009 study led by Patricia Hawley, Ph.D and her student, Will Hensley at the University of Kansas psychology department.
In this research, and contrary to conventional wisdom, most people who were turned on by a “forceful submission fantasy” didn’t imagine pain or humiliation (masochism), but were instead drawn to what they thought of as “a passionate exchange with a powerful, resource-holding and attentive suitor.” That’s a key distinction: The researchers believe this shows that people use these fantasies to assert power, not to give it up.
1. Assertive women enjoy the idea of being submissive in bed, more than traditionally submissive women.
Surprisingly, women who enjoyed these forceful submission fantasies weren’t submissive in their lives outside of the bedroom. In fact, the most aggressive group of females preferred a fantasy where they were dominated. And real life “non-controllers” (women who have less agency in social situations) had the least preference for sexual submission.
One explanation is that dominant females pursue dominant males, as they do in the animal kingdom, says Hawley. Catching the attention of a dominant male means you’ve risen to the top of the pack, so acting out that fantasy (where he pursues, you resist and that power struggle leads to hot, hot sex) reinforces a woman’s status and desirability, which makes her feel good about herself. (Note that you can sub in any gender and the same theory applies.) While that’s just one possible explanation, the point here is that at its core, this fantasy enhances self-esteem.
Read the entire article: http://www.youbeauty.com/relationships/50-shades-of-grey?layout=print