When I received word of Sexologist Mitchell Tepper’s 30′s anniversary of his disability, I linked to his website. Fond memories of a threesome, dancing at the professional AASECT conference with Candida Royalle and Mitchell in wheelchair. One of the best dances I’ve ever had.
On his site he reviews a book by another disabled sexologist Kenneth Ray Stubbs, “The Essential Tantra: A Modern Guide to Sacred Sexuality.” It reminded me I own this book, but somehow it got lost on my bookshelf. It is a must read for those wishing to expand their definition of orgasm and to enhance their sexplay repertoire.
Excerpt from review:
In The Moment
For a Tantric orgasm to occur, there is no need for a build up of sexual tension, for friction, for ejaculation or for muscular contractions. In fact, there is no need for sex at all once you have discovered that orgasm can be a deeply relaxing meditation, a state combining Rajneesh’s three components of timelessness, egolessness and being natural. When you are timeless you are in the moment, not comparing to past experience or focusing on future expectations. When you are egoless, you become one with your partner or the universe, not an individual limited by physical disability or negative thoughts. When you are in your natural state, in the words of Rajneesh, “The unreal is lost; the facade, the face, is lost; the society, the culture, the civilization is lost. You are part of nature – as trees are, animals are, stars are. You are in a greater something – the cosmos.”
Still seem far-fetched? Well consider this. Drs. Beverly Whipple, Gina Ogden and Barry Komisaruk have shown in laboratory studies at Rutgers University that women can have orgasms through fantasy alone, without any physical stimulation. Some of the women’s orgasms were not associated with genital contractions. Still skeptical? Think this only applies to nondisabled women? My recent research with men and women with spinal cord injuries documents experiences that were identified as orgasm by the participants but could hardly be described as medical-model orgasms. While some participants still experienced traditional orgasms, others – of both sexes – said their orgasms happened “by surprise.” There was not the usual buildup of muscular tension, yet ecstatic feelings occurred in their heads or entire bodies, even for those with no sensation below their level of injury. Is your mind beginning to open to new possibilities?
